National bestselling cozy mystery author Diane Vallere brings you a riveting installment of amateur sleuthing and decorating in the delightful and humorous Madison Night mystery series. Two abandoned bodies lead to a polarized community. Can an amateur sleuth bridge the divide and help catch a killer? After a lawsuit puts interior decorator Madison Night’s business on indefinite hold, she needs a distraction. A walk in the park with police captain Tex Allen is anything but: they discover two corpses on the property. The bodies are unidentifiable, and inconvenient weather conditions have rendered the crime scene obsolete. With no leads, the case seems unsolvable. With time on her hands, discovers a clue that ties the victims to a local florist. A surprise court date catches her off guard, and her continuing involvement in the case may cost her more than she can afford to lose. Can Madison dig up the evidence needed to catch a killer before the bloom fades on her business? APPREHEND ME NO FLOWERS is the seventh thrilling cozy mystery in the humorous Mad for Mod series. If you like vintage fashion, edgy cozies, and police investigations, then you’ll love Madison Night’s latest adventure. Buy APPREHEND ME NO FLOWERS for a fun, petal-pushing mystery today! Keywords: humorous mysteries, cozy mysteries, amateur sleuths, women sleuths, mystery with humor, fashionable fiction, fashionable mysteries, friendship fiction, traditional mysteries, Dallas, Texas, vintage, Doris Day, stylish sleuths, funny mysteries, mysteries set in Texas, funny cozy mysteries, humorous cozy mysteries, traditional mystery, designer mystery, cozy hobby mystery, animal mystery, dog, determined sleuth, female sleuth, women sleuth, fearless sleuth, crime, crime fiction, murder mystery, amateur detective, sleuthing in style, stylish sleuthing, suspense, thriller, over-50 Madison Night Mad for Mod Mysteries (cozy/traditional mysteries winking at Doris Day movies) Midnight Ice (Prequel) Pillow Stalk That Touch of Ink With Vics you get Eggroll The Decorator Who Knew Too Much The Pajama Frame Lover Come Hack Apprehend Me No Flowers Teacher's Threat The Kill of it All Love Me or Grieve Me (Oct 2022) What people are saying about the Madison Night Mysteries: "Make room for Vallere's tremendously fun homage. Imbuing her story with plenty of mid-century modern decorating and fashion tips, not to mention a steady patter of Doris Day trivia, Vallere debuts a well-paced cozy series. Her disarmingly honest lead and two hunky sidekicks will appeal to all fashionistas and antiques types and have romance crossover appeal." - Library Journal "If you are looking for an unconventional mystery with a snarky, no-nonsense main character, this is it. Madison is a strong leading lady who lands in lots of quirky situations. Instead of clashing, humor and danger meld perfectly, and there's a cliffhanger that will make your jaw drop. You'll look forward to the second Madison Night mystery." - RT Book Reviews "A charming modern tribute to Doris Day movies and the retro era of the 50s, including murders, escalating danger, romance... and a puppy!" - Linda O. Johnston, Author of the Pet Rescue Mysteries "It was fast and furious, had a lot of info, characters, suspects, and even a few tangled romances. I love mysteries where I can't figure out who the real killer is until the end, and this was one of those. The novel was well-written, moved at a smooth pace, and Madison's character was a riot." - ChickLit Plus "This was a delightful read for me. I particularly enjoy and like Doris Day and was so surprised that Pillow Talk was mentioned in the book along with Doris Day. It's nice having a cute, cozy mystery to read, I look forward to more in the series!" -Bookreporter.com "If you love the Technicolor movies of Doris Day and Rock Hudson and watch Mad Men for fashion tips, author Diane Vallere has written a mystery that will appeal to the mid-century modern heart." - ReaderToReader.com "An intricately plotted and well-written book, I really enjoyed the story. I can't imagine decorating a house in the style from Doris Day's movies but it makes fine reading." - Fresh Fiction

Enjoy this crafty small-town cozy mystery by national bestselling author Diane Vallere… Fabric shop owner Polyester Monroe can get tangled up in textiles, but it's murder that really throws her for a loop in the third Material Witness mystery... The time has come for the annual Miss Tangorli beauty pageant, and Polyester Monroe has agreed to use her fabric store’s inventory of shimmery silks to create gowns fit for a crown. But when the man who revived the city’s citrus trade with his imported Tangorli tree is found dead days before the pageant contestants are announced, something sour takes over the town. To make matters worse, Poly’s closest friend is caught up in the crime, having been seen in the company of the case’s prime suspect. Juicy secrets come to light, creating tension in the small California town. Now while Poly juggles seamstresses and a gaggle of pageant contestants, the killer seems intent to put the squeeze someone she loves. Silk Stalkings is the third charming cozy mystery in this series, although all books in the Material Witness series can be read as a standalone. For readers of Joanna Campbell Slan, Steve Higgs, and Dianne Harman, this is a fair-play cozy mystery whodunit with strong family ties, a sweet romance, and a fun cast of recurring characters. If you like small-town settings, killer textiles, and crafty killers, then you'll love Diane Vallere's delightful, fabric-themed series. “Diane Vallere has stitched up an engaging new series.”—Sofie Kelly, New York Times bestselling author of the Magical Cats Mysteries “With delightfully engaging characters and riveting mystery, it is a series I am looking to see more of!”—Open Book Society

Set phasers to cozy in this humorous outer space series starter readers are calling Veronica Mars meets Star Trek. (Or is it Judy Jetson meets Stephanie Plum? You decide!) Sylvia Stryker has no business being on the next Moon Unit Cruise Line, unless you count aspirations and dreams. The career that once felt within her reach—Intergalactic Cruise Ship Security—disappeared the day her dad was arrested for collusion with space pirates. Since then, she’s begrudgingly been running the ice mine for her aging mother, the two of them social pariahs amongst their fellow Plunians. Everything changes when the uniform lieutenant position on Moon Unit 6 opens up days before departure. Sylvia immediately puts her hacking skills to use, uploading bogus credentials onto the crew manifest. Now to just lay low, do her job, and impress the new boss. Her plan goes off without a hitch until a non-celestial body falls from the uniform inventory closet after departure. Reporting it means drawing attention, the very opposite of laying low. When the head of security shows up to investigate and throws her into the spaceship holding cell, her onboard status shifts from staff to prisoner. If Sylvia can’t expose the killer herself, she’ll be bunking with her dad at the local space prison. National bestselling author Diane Vallere sends you out of this world alongside the uniform lieutenant on an intergalactic cruise with and a dead body and plenty of suspects! What readers are saying: “I really enjoyed this mixture of science fiction and cozy mystery.” “I loved how Vallere combined science fiction, mystery, drama, and humor making this book very enjoyable and hard to put down.” “I gave it a try simply because the author was Diane Vallere….I'm so glad I did….Just as you would expect, this is a totally FUN murder mystery that doesn't disappoint!” “It's like Sherlock Holmes in space... but better!” “I loved this mystery set in space.” “It is a murder mystery. It is a spy story. It is a futuristic science fiction story. It is pure genius and entertaining from start to finish.” “It's as if Star Trek married a cozy...very well done! Read and enjoy!” It's not easy being purple, especially when you're trapped on a spaceship with people who want to arrest you for a crime you didn't commit...and the one who did. Murder on a Moon Trek is the quirky first novel featuring uniform lieutenant Sylvia Stryker. If you like unique characters, delightful plots, and cool futuristic fashion, you'll love Diane Vallere's entertaining interstellar series. Previously published as FLY ME TO THE MOON. Is it a cozy mystery set in space, or an outer space with a cozy mystery? You decide! CHAPTER ONE EXCERPT: When Moon Unit 5 kicked off its inaugural trip from my home planet of Plunia, I expected the uniform closet to be stuffed to capacity. I just hadn’t expected it to be stuffed with a body. But here we were, light years from the space station where we’d departed, and instead of a closet of freshly laundered uniforms, I had a dead man. No matter how thoroughly I'd planned for today, I never could have planned for this. Maybe he wasn’t dead. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he’d had a late night partying before today’s departure and crawled into my uniform closet to take a nap. As unlikely as that explanation was, I wasn’t yet willing to accept the more probable reality. I knelt next to him and checked for a pulse on the side of his neck. His skin was cold to the touch, which was either due to his not-alive state or the twenty-degree difference between earthling temperatures (his) and Plunian temperatures (mine). In this case, it was both. No pulse, no breathing. A Code Blue. Moon Unit Corporation ran a fleet of cruise spaceships whose mission was to provide relaxing getaways to one of our galaxy’s moons. Ever since I’d learned they were reopening after years of inactivity, I’d fantasized about working for them. The fact that I’d hacked my records into their system was a minor technicality. My job was to manage the uniforms during the moon trek, and as long as I did my job and avoided ship security, my fantasy would become a reality. But this was bigger than managing uniforms. Regardless of the risks to me, I had to contact the bridge. I could send a general message over the staff communication network. I stepped away from the pile of spilled uniforms and shifted to the computer that sat above the console in the middle of the room. It was standard issue, a flat black folio with colorful buttons and a low-definition screen. Only the top members of the ship and paying passengers were given high-def equipment. For the rest of us, it was the bare minimum, Moon Unit Corporation’s way of making sure distractions didn’t surround us. To the right side of the computer was a clear plastic dome that protected a shiny red button that, despite learning about during emergency protocol training, I’d hoped never to have to use. This was a button message. I flipped the dome up and pressed the button. “Uniform Ward to the bridge. Lieutenant Sylvia Stryker reporting. There’s a situation in my ward.” “What kind of situation?” asked a female voice. It sounded like my immediate supervisor, Yeoman D’Nar. There was no official reason for her to be on the bridge during departure, but senior officers of the ship were given an open invitation to witness the launch with Captain Swift. D’Nar was exactly the type to insert herself where she wasn’t wanted. “I’m pretty sure it’s a Code Blue.” Pretty sure? I was completely sure. There was no doubt I was looking at a Code Blue. “Don’t be reckless. A Code Blue is serious. I think you made a mistake.” I bristled at her accusation but kept my voice in check. “It’s not a mistake. I memorized the codes last night.” “I don’t think you have a Code Blue. Check the BOP and report in as applicable.” The BOP—Book of Protocols—was a 237-page manual that outlined the proper method for handling everything from hydrating vacuum-packed meals to subordination expectations between low-level officers and high-ranking ones. Every ship in the galaxy had a BOP. Crew members were expected to know the rules and regulations of the ship, but the BOP existed as a backup when something unexpected happened. I picked up a small hand mirror from the nearby uniform alterations station and held it in front of the officer’s mouth. No condensation. Code Blue, alright. I hadn’t been lying about having memorized the list of codes from the BOP. I’d bought a used copy of an old Book of Protocols from the black market and studied it from cover to cover. No doubt it was outdated. The Moon Units 1-3 had had their share of trouble, and the problems with the Moon Unit 4 were still classified, but I had to start somewhere. I flipped through the pages of the Moon Unit 5 BOP, looking for an updated list of warning codes. Because my knowledge had come from the old BOP, I’d created a finding tool: a cross-reference of everything in the old manual and where to find it in the new one. I’d also had a copy of the BOP made and organized it the way I would if I were in charge of ship security. Someday, I would be. When people stopped judging me by what my dad had done before they arrested him and took him away. But today wasn’t someday, and even though the bridge blew off my call, I still had a problem that had nothing to do with uniform management. I studied the deceased officer. Who was he? A quick assessment of his uniform indicated his position and rank: red shirt, two bands circling his cuff, standard issue black pants, and gravity boots. Second navigation officer of Moon Unit 5. There were no visible wounds to indicate how he’d died. He wasn’t wearing an air purification helmet like I was, so I disconnected my inhalation tube from the oxygen tank under my uniform, held the tube in front of his mouth, and sniffed. Cherries and menthol. I reconnected the tube and then put my hand under his chin and opened his mouth wide. His tongue had a stripe of bright red down the middle like he’d been sucking on a throat lozenge. It was common practice among crew members during takeoff because frequent swallowing kept ears from plugging up. “What are you doing?” said a voice behind me. I turned my head and bumped my protective fiberglass bubble helmet on the closet door. My helmet bounced off the surface. I blinked a few times and then looked up. Uh-oh. Even if I’d been face to face with the man in the uniform ward, he would have towered over me. He had a bald head and dark, pointed eyebrows that shielded dark eyes. Long, straight nose and lips that were drawn in a line and turned down on the sides. His arms crossed in front of his body, and his biceps bulged below the hem of the short sleeves of his dark blue jumpsuit. My mind flashed over a series of facts and images I’d memorized before my official first day, and I reached one conclusion. This man was from the maintenance crew. My know-it-all boss must have told him I called in the wrong code and sent him here to clean up whatever mess I’d caused. “I’m Sylvia Stryker. I spoke with Yeoman D’Nar about a Code Blue. Did she send you?” He looked over my shoulder at the body. “Move,” he said. I stood quickly. The action triggered a bout of vertigo. I put my hand on my counter just behind where I’d left the open Book of Protocols. Yikes! If this guy saw that I’d torn apart and rearranged the protocol manual, he’d report me to ship security without a second thought. I moved a few inches to the left and turned around to block his view of the counter. “They must have notified you. You’re with maintenance, right?” His expression didn’t change. “I haven’t heard anything about a Code Blue.” “Oh.” I looked over my shoulder to where I’d moved the body. “Maybe the bridge was busy with takeoff.” Unlike my uniform, the muscular man’s didn’t have the Moon Unit insignia—a silver number 5 surrounded by circles on their axis like the rings around Saturn, all contained in an orange patch edged in black thread. It was the same insignia on my ID card and woven into the carpet in the employee lounge and on the cover of the BOP and every single uniform in the inventory closet. But it wasn’t on him. Still, the deceased officer deserved to be in a more honorable location than the inventory closet and I needed help moving him. But since there was the tiniest chance that ship security would uncover the fact that I hadn’t indeed been hired through proper channels and might be viewed as a stowaway on board the ship, I’d planned to lay low until we’d cleared the breakaway point in our moon trek. Maybe Yeoman D’Nar’s lack of urgency was a blessing in disguise. “He’s dead,” I said. “How?” “I don’t know. He was inside the uniform closet when I got here. I checked for a pulse but couldn’t find it.” “You need to notify the bridge.” “Well, duh,” I said. “I probably know the ship protocols better than you do. I contacted the bridge and told Yeoman D’Nar I had a Code Blue, but she didn’t believe me.” I looked at the body over the large man’s shoulder. “Can you help me move him? I have to prep for departure, and I can’t do that while he’s blocking my inventory.” The man’s back was to me, but he turned his head to the side so I could see his profile. His eyebrow raised again. He slipped his arms under the officer’s neck and knees and then stood up and lifted him like he was lifting a bag of potatoes. Plunia was filled with potato farms, and when I wasn’t working in the ice mines with my mom, I’d often played in the potato fields. I was pretty sure Plunian potatoes weighed a lot less than the second nav officer. The maintenance man set the body on the reclining bench alongside the inside wall of the uniform ward. He draped a dressing gown over him, covering his face and red shirt. The dressing gown was only so long, though, so the officer’s bottom half still showed. “Your ward is off limits,” the maintenance man said. “No!” I said. “I mean, this is my job on the ship. I expect today to be slow because everybody is probably wearing their best uniform, but still, if I don’t open the uniform ward, the crew will ask questions.” “Do you have something to hide?” he asked. I crossed my arms over my magenta uniform. “You ask a lot of questions for a janitor.” He seemed surprised, and then his lips pressed together, and the corners of his mouth turned up. “Why do you think I’m the janitor?” “I don’t recognize your uniform, and I know all the different ones on the ship. The only people on the ship wearing uniforms that don’t come from my ward are the janitorial crew.” The cabin doors swished open and a man in gray walked in. “Neptune, Captain Swift is waiting for you in engineering. He says the crack isn’t sealed.” “Neptune?” I asked. I looked back and forth between the new guy and the one who’d been asking all the questions. “I thought Neptune was the head of Moon Unit security division?” “I am,” the original man said. Oh, no. I’d heard about Neptune. He was the one person I’d been hoping to avoid. ---------------------------------------------- For fans of Star Trek, Star Wars, Dune, UFO, The Orville, Galaxy Quest, Lost in Space, and The Jetsons...who also like Hallmark Mysteries. Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.

Enjoy this humorous cozy mystery with a fashionable amateur sleuth and secrets from the past by national bestselling author Diane Vallere. Amateur Sleuth Samantha Kidd is in over her head. With no job prospects on the horizon, former fashion buyer Samantha Kidd convinces boyfriend and shoe designer Nick Taylor to give her a job. But when close friend Eddie asks for help with an exhibit of vintage Hollywood costumes, she splits her time between romance and comedy--until a dead man claims all of her attention. Brimming with good intentions, she leaves the investigation to the cops, but the killer keeps Eddie in the crosshairs. If Samantha can tear the lid off the investigation, it might mean a feather in her fedora. And if she can't? Her best friend might get capped. The Brim Reaper is the third humorous book in the Killer Fashion mystery series, although each can be read as a standalone mystery. With its irresistible characters, sparkling dialogue, and a murder mystery that is as charming as it is puzzling, this novel is for fans of A.R. Winters, Deana Ray, and Jasmine Webb. If you like witty protagonists, clever dialogue, and fair-play whodunits, you’ll love Diane Vallere’s humorous mystery. Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.

Enjoy this humorous cozy mystery with a fashionable amateur sleuth and a holiday-themed mystery by national bestselling author Diane Vallere. Bah, Hashtag! When intrepid fashion insider Samantha Kidd lands a temporary assignment as a social media influencer two weeks before Christmas, she dives into the world of lifestyle goals. The job provides props to encourage drool-worthy posts destined to inspire envy and drive customers into last-minute shopping frenzies, but when a colleague goes missing, the illusion of Samantha's perfect life fades like an out-of-date filter. The only clues to her colleague's disappearance are found on his Instagram timeline, which Samantha knows has been staged. Maintaining appearances and influencing Christmas sales trends takes a back seat to finding her friend, but when the lines between authenticity and hype are blurred, she’ll either reveal the truth … or drown in a sea of hashtags. Get slayed! #SamanthaKidd #Totallyfunny #HolidayMystery #YouKnowYouWantTo :) Slay Ride is the humorous tenth cozy mystery in the Killer Fashion mystery series, although each book can be read as a standalone. For fans of Leslie Langtry, Meg Cabot, and Gemma Halliday, this Christmas amateur detective book will appeal to fans of laugh out loud crime fiction with a chick lit feel. If you love humorous suburban crime fiction featuring amateur sleuths and fierce friendships, with a dash of family drama, you'll love SLAY RIDE (and all of the Killer Fashion mysteries!). Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.

Dive into a world of enchantment, danger, and the unexpected as you embark on extraordinary underwater adventures in DEAD IN THE WATER. Meet Zoe, Kyra, and Ava, three spirited mermaid sisters who call the vibrant underwater city of Sirenia their home. But life beneath the waves is about to take a thrilling turn as the sisters find themselves caught in a wave of treacherous mysteries. When a mysterious murder rocks the peaceful depths of their aquatic paradise, the mermaid sleuths refuse to let the secrets remain submerged. Utilizing their unique gifts of intuition, song, and curiosity, Zoe, Kyra, and Ava embark on individual quests to unravel the truth, enlisting the help of wise mermen, clever fish allies, and even a few humans along the way. As they navigate a labyrinth of deep-sea wonders and perilous encounters, the mermaid trio uncovers a hidden world of dark alliances, ancient prophecies, and a sinister plot that could shake Sirenia to its very core. With every clue they unravel, the sisters find themselves diving deeper into the heart of the mysteries, risking their lives to protect their cherished home and those they hold dear. For fans of mermaids, mysteries, and thrilling adventures alike, DEAD IN THE WATER is a trio of spellbinding stories that seamlessly weave together elements of fantasy, suspense, and captivating fiction. Immerse yourself in a richly imagined underwater realm, where the bonds of sisterhood, the allure of the sea, and the power of love collide in a race against time and will leave you longing for more tales from the deep.

Enjoy this humorous cozy mystery with an amateur sleuth and rom-com elements by national bestselling author Diane Vallere. She needs a paycheck. A murder creates the perfect job. Can she avoid becoming the next victim? Samantha Kidd recently added an unexpected skill to her fashion-heavy resume: solving a crime. But amateur sleuthing doesn’t pay the bills. A new retailer shows interest in hiring her as their handbag buyer, but there’s one big red flag: the last buyer was killed on the job. Moving back to her old hometown was about leaving that career path behind, but Samantha’s out of options. When another person at the store is murdered, the walls close in like a snug, satin lining. Can Samantha get a handle on an inside job without getting caught in the killer’s clutches? Buy Buyer, Beware for laugh-out-loud entertainment today! Buyer, Beware is the second humorous book in the Killer Fashion mystery series, although each book in the series can be read as a standalone. For readers of, Deany Ray, Cindy Sample, and Larissa Reinhart, this funny book features a determined amateur sleuth and a mystery that will keep you guessing. If you like witty protagonists, clever dialogue, and fair-play whodunits, you’ll love Diane Vallere’s humorous mystery. Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.