A goat who wants to sell you some meth. A giraffe who might be violating his restraining order. An alpaca with a very dirty secret. A cat who’s really mad at you for cancelling Netflix instant. These are just a few of the hilariously human animals you’ll meet in Animals Talking in All Caps. Inspired by the wildly popular blog of the same name and including some of the site’s best-loved entries as well as gobs of never-before-seen material, these pages provide a brilliantly unhinged glimpse into the animal mind.

"Joni Murphy’s inventive and beautiful allegory depicts a city enmeshed in climate collapse, blinded to the signs of its imminent destruction by petty hatreds and monstrous greed: that is, the world we are living in now. Talking Animals is an Orwellian tale of totalitarianism in action, but the animals on this farm are much cuter, and they make better puns." —Chris Kraus, author of I Love Dick and After Kathy Acker A fable for our times, Joni Murphy’s Talking Animals takes place in an all-animal world where creatures rather like us are forced to deal with an all-too-familiar landscape of soul-crushing jobs, polluted oceans, and a creeping sense of doom. It’s New York City, nowish. Lemurs brew espresso. Birds tend bar. There are bears on Wall Street, and a billionaire racehorse is mayor. Sea creatures are viewed with fear and disgust and there’s chatter about building a wall to keep them out. Alfonzo is a moody alpaca. His friend Mitchell is a sociable llama. They both work at City Hall, but their true passions are noise music and underground politics. Partly to meet girls, partly because the world might be ending, these lowly bureaucrats embark on an unlikely mission to expose the corrupt system that’s destroying the city from within. Their project takes them from the city’s bowels to its extremities, where they encounter the Sea Equality Revolutionary Front, who are either a group of dangerous radicals or an inspiring liberation movement. In this novel, at last, nature kvetches and grieves, while talking animals offer us a kind of solace in the guise of dumb jokes. This is mass extinction as told by BoJack Horseman. This is The Fantastic Mr. Fox journeying through Kafka's Amerika. This is dogs and cats, living together. Talking Animals is an urgent allegory about friendship, art, and the elemental struggle to change one’s life under the low ceiling of capitalism.

A vivid, riveting novel about an abandoned boy who takes up with a pack of feral dogs Two million children roam the streets in late twentieth-century Moscow. A four-year-old boy named Romochka, abandoned by his mother and uncle, is left to fend for himself. Curious, he follows a stray dog to its home in an abandoned church cellar on the city's outskirts. Romochka makes himself at home with Mamochka, the mother of the pack, and six other dogs as he slowly abandons his human attributes to survive two fiercely cold winters. Able to pass as either boy or dog, Romochka develops his own moral code. As the pack starts to prey on people for food with Romochka's help, he attracts the attention of local police and scientists. His future, and the pack's, will depend on his ability to remain free, but the outside world begins to close in on him as the novel reaches its gripping conclusion. In this taut and emotionally convincing narrative, Eva Hornung explores universal themes of the human condition: the importance of home, what it means to belong to a family, the consequences of exclusion, and what our animal nature can teach us about survival.

A straightforward, easy-to-understand book that teaches you how to directly communicate with animals. Animal Talk teaches you how to open the door to your animal friends’ hearts and minds without resorting to magic tricks or wishful thinking. Every creature can be reached through telepathic communication—from your tabby cat or cockatiel to the wasps that build nests in the eaves of your home or even the common flea—you just have to be open to the idea, and mind-to-mind communication will be in your grasp. In addition to an entire chapter devoted to teaching people how to develop mind-to-mind communication with animals, Animal Talk includes a discussion of freedom, control, and obedience, understanding behaviors from the animal’s point of view, how to handle upsets between animals, tips on nutrition for healthier pets, and the special relationship between animals and children.

Long ago and even today, the story is told of how all the animals in the world, at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve, speak. With their newfound power of speech, the animals rejoice at the birth of Jesus, born humbly in a manger and surrounded by animals. Singing in treetops, braying in stables, barking in yards--the animals all rejoice and proclaim, "The Child is come." With rich illustrations and lyrical text, Newbery Honor Award-winner Marion Dane Bauer delights readers of all ages with this fresh telling of a classic Christmas legend.

The first complete biography of the beloved children's book author Walter R. Brooks, creator of Freddy the Pig.

New York Times bestselling author Jon Katz—“a Thoreau for modern times” (San Antonio Express-News)—offers us a deeper understanding of the inner lives of animals and teaches us how we can more effectively communicate with them, made real by his own remarkable experiences with a wide array of creatures great and small. In Talking to Animals, journalist Jon Katz—who left his Manhattan life behind two decades ago for life on a farm where he is surrounded by dogs, cats, sheep, horses, cows, goats, and chickens—marshals his experience to offer us a deeper insight into animals and the tools needed for effectively communicating with them. Devoting each chapter to a specific animal from his life, Katz tells funny and illuminating stories about his profound experiences with them, showing us how healthy engagement with animals falls into five key areas: Food, Movement, Visualization, Language, and Instincts. Along the way, we meet Simon the donkey who arrives at Katz’s farm near death and now serves as his Tai Chi partner. We meet Red the dog who started out antisocial and untrained and is now a therapy dog working with veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan. And we meet Winston, the dignified and brave rooster who was injured defending his hens from a hawk and who has better interpersonal skills than most humans. Thoughtful and intelligent, lively and powerful, this book will completely change the way you think about and interact with animals. Katz’s “honest, straightforward, and sometimes searing prose will speak to those who love animals, and might well convert some who do not” (Booklist).