The bond siblings develop in childhood may be vastly different from the relationship that evolves in adulthood. Driven by affection but also characterized by ambivalence and ambiguity, adult sibling relationships can become hurtful, uncertain, competitive, or exhausting though the undercurrents of love and loyalty remain. An approach that recognizes the positive aspects of the changing sibling relationship, as well as those that need improvement, can restore healthy ties and rebuild family closeness. With in-depth case studies of more than 260 siblings over the age of forty and interviews with experts on mental health and family interaction, this book offers vital direction for traversing the emotional terrain of adult sibling relations. It pursues a richer understanding of ambivalence, a normal though little explored feeling among siblings, and how ambiguity about the past or present can lead to miscommunication and estrangement. For both professionals and general readers, this book clarifies the most confounding elements of sibling relationships and provides specific suggestions for realizing new, productive avenues of friendship in middle and later life—skills that are particularly important for siblings who must cooperate to care for aging parents or give immediate emotional or financial support to other siblings or family members.

A warm, empathetic guide to understanding, coping with, and healing from the unique pain of sibling estrangement "Whenever I tell people that I am working on a book about sibling estrangement, they sit up a little straighter and lean in, as if I've tapped into a dark secret." Fern Schumer Chapman understands the pain of sibling estrangement firsthand. For the better part of forty years, she had nearly no relationship with her only brother, despite many attempts at reconnection. Her grief and shame were devastating and isolating. But when she tried to turn to others for help, she found that a profound stigma still surrounded estrangement, and that very little statistical and psychological research existed to help her better understand the rift that had broken up her family. So she decided to conduct her own research, interviewing psychologists and estranged siblings as well as recording the extraordinary story of her own rift with her brother--and subsequent reconciliation. Brothers, Sisters, Strangers is the result--a thoughtfully researched memoir that illuminates both the author's own story and the greater phenomenon of estrangement. Chapman helps readers work through the challenges of rebuilding a sibling relationship that seems damaged beyond repair, as well as understand when estrangement is the best option. It is at once a detailed framework for understanding sibling estrangement, a beacon of solidarity and comfort for the estranged, and a moving memoir about family trauma, addiction, grief, and recovery.

Rivalry, jealousy, pent-up anger: for many brothers and sisters, these emotions remain well into adult life. Peter Goldenthal offers help for those who wish to break the destructive patterns that affect their relationships.

Experience the miracle of healing with a unique step-by-step program for enhancing adult sibling relationships — created by siblings for siblings Much has been written about the relationships of parents and children. But the unsung chord in all of our adult relationships, professional and personal, is rooted in the sibling connection. In this extraordinary book based on their Sibling Revelry workshops, authors — and siblings — Jo Ann, Marjory, and Joel Levitt re-create the seminars that have helped many strengthen the bonds of their adult sibling relationships. In eight clearly focused steps, with added material for home study, the authors show how to transform sibling rivalry into extraordinary, nurturing adult bonds that will enhance all other relationships in your life. Now you can regain the closeness you and your siblings once shared, heal old wounds, and pave the way to a happier, healthier future. Learn how to: * Define your relationship — Unload the myths of your shared past...and discover who you are to each other now * Witness the effect of old rivalries — And use them as a springboard to great adult relationships * Envision a new future — Break the habits that hold your relationship firmly in place...and create a powerful new vision for yourself and your family * Explore new modes of contact — Examine the "role" you play in your family and free yourself from damaging old patterns * Heal wounds and misunderstandings — Resolve old conflicts as you sort through old issues of fear, anger, guilt, and hurt * Invent new family legends — Uncover the myths and legends that have shaped your relationship...then create new ones * Make room for differences — Clear out "sibling clutter" and accept your siblings exactly as they are * Honor your strengths — Celebrate the positive qualities each sibling brings to the relationship...and set the stage for a lifelong connection

An exploration of sibling rivalry in adults shows adults how they can maintain caring relationships with siblings during ordinary conflicts, cope with seriously troubled siblings, and resolve conflicts.

When one begins to examine the existing literature dealing with siblings, one soon becomes aware that many separate domains of sibling research exist and that there is little connection between them; for example, sibling relationships in early childhood, genetic and environmental influences on individual differences between siblings, dysfunctional sibling relation ships, adult sibling helping relationships, sibling violence and abuse, and so on. The author's aim in writing this book was to attempt to bring together for the first time studies from diverse areas of sibling research into a single volume. The book is a summary and integration of the various domains of sibling studies, extending across the life span where studies exist to make this possible. Although many gaps in the sibling research literature within and between domains of study and over the life span still exist, it is hoped that this book will motivate others to help fill in the gaps by suggesting direc tions where further research is needed.

Sibling relationships are special in many ways, not least because often siblings are the family members who go through their whole lives together But those relationships can be fraught with strife or tension, bouts of happiness or strain and stress. They can predict and affect other relationships in our lives, and they can offer solace or sadness over the years. Here, Suzanne Degges-White looks at the variety of sibling relationships with an eye to improving both the good and the bad. Using real stories throughout, the author illustrates the broad spectrum of problems (and rewards) that can come from having a sibling. Examining such factors as the early family constellation, birth order, cultural diversity, and family communication patterns, Degges-White illustrates how these relationships can affect so many other areas of our lives, and considers how adult sibling conflict, rivalry, abuse, and loss influence our lives. She offers suggestions for effective responses to adult sibling conflict as well as enhancing family communication and deepening the sibling connection in adulthood. No matter what the sibling relationship is or has become, this work will help readers consider how situations might be improved or addressed, even if it means letting go of unhealthy sibling relationships.