The effort to surmount shame and formidable defenses in psychotherapy can trigger shame and self-doubt in therapists. Susan Warren Warshow offers a user-friendly-guide to help therapists move past common treatment barriers. This unique book avoids jargon and breaks down complex concepts into digestible elements for practical application. The core principles of Dynamic Emotional Focused Therapy (DEFT), a comprehensive treatment approach for demonstrable change, are illustrated with rich and abundant clinical vignettes. This engaging, often lyrical handbook emphasizes "shame-sensitivity" to create the safety necessary to achieve profound interpersonal connection. Often overlooked in treatment, shame can undermine the entire process. The author explains the "therapeutic transfer of compassion for self," a relational phenomenon that purposefully generates affective expression. She introduces a three-step, robust framework, The Healing Triad, to orient therapists to intervene effectively when the winds of resistance arise. Chapters clarify: Why we focus on feelings How to identify and move beyond shame and anxiety How to transform toxic guilt into reparative actions How to disarm defenses while avoiding ruptures This book is essential reading for both advanced and newly practicing mental health practitioners striving to access the profound emotions in their clients for transformative change.

The effort to surmount shame and formidable defenses in psychotherapy can trigger shame and self-doubt in therapists. Susan Warren Warshow offers a user-friendly-guide to help therapists move past common treatment barriers. This unique book avoids jargon and breaks down complex concepts into digestible elements for practical application. The core principles of Dynamic Emotional Focused Therapy (DEFT), a comprehensive treatment approach for demonstrable change, are illustrated with rich and abundant clinical vignettes. This engaging, often lyrical handbook emphasizes "shame-sensitivity" to create the safety necessary to achieve profound interpersonal connection. Often overlooked in treatment, shame can undermine the entire process. The author explains the "therapeutic transfer of compassion for self," a relational phenomenon that purposefully generates affective expression. She introduces a three-step, robust framework, The Healing Triad, to orient therapists to intervene effectively when the winds of resistance arise. Chapters clarify: Why we focus on feelings How to identify and move beyond shame and anxiety How to transform toxic guilt into reparative actions How to disarm defenses while avoiding ruptures This book is essential reading for both advanced and newly practicing mental health practitioners striving to access the profound emotions in their clients for transformative change.

Break the Cycle: A Comprehensive Guide to Overcome Chronic Relationship Struggles Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight with your partner. Playing out the same disagreement about money, parenting, sex, or household chores may leave you exhausted, cut off from the person you want to feel close to. While conflict in any relationship is inevitable, healing is possible. With In Each Other's Care, Stan Tatkin shares a hands-on repair manual that will help you discover how arguments get triggered, why they keep happening, and what you can do to get better at communicating what you want without the drama. Drawing on his vast experience as a couples therapist, Tatkin uses the concept of secure functioning—a two-person psychological system of teamwork, full collaboration, and cooperation based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity. This form of unionizing “takes time to learn,” Tatkin says. “And still, the rewards are awesome and make the effort worthwhile. Secure functioning benefits you, your partner, your family, your friends, everything, and everyone.” Throughout In Each Other’s Care, Tatkin offers targeted lessons, sample dialogues, and heartfelt wisdom. Through this life-changing practice, you will be able to: • Identify the source of unhappiness in your relationship • Learn techniques for preventing problems before they occur • Heal the emotional wounds of the past • Transform conflict and struggle into win-win outcomes • Renew broken connections and return to intimacy Whether you’ve been in a relationship for years or are just beginning the journey, In Each Other’s Care is a wonderfully supportive guide that will show you how to work through even the most contentious topics with compassion and respect.

Shame, Pride, and Relational Trauma is a guide to recognizing the many ways shame and pride lie at the heart of psychotherapy with survivors of relational trauma. In these pages, readers learn how to differentiate shame and pride as emotional processes and traumatic mind/body states. They will also discover how understanding the psychodynamic and phenomenological relationships between shame, pride, and dissociation benefit psychotherapy with relational trauma. Next, readers are introduced to fifteen attitudes, principles, and concepts that guide this work from a transtheoretical perspective. Therapists will learn about ways to conceptualize and successfully navigate complex, patient-therapist shame dynamics, and apply neuroscientific findings to this challenging work. Finally, readers will discover how the concept and phenomena of pro-being pride, that is delighting in one's own and others' unique aliveness, helps patients transcend maladaptive shame and pride and experience greater unity within, with others, and with the world beyond.

This classic book, written 17 years ago but still selling more than 13,000 copies every year, has been completely updated and expanded by the author. "I used to drink," writes John Bradshaw,"to solve the problems caused by drinking. The more I drank to relieve my shame-based loneliness and hurt, the more I felt ashamed." Shame is the motivator behind our toxic behaviors: the compulsion, co-dependency, addiction and drive to superachieve that breaks down the family and destroys personal lives. This book has helped millions identify their personal shame, understand the underlying reasons for it, address these root causes and release themselves from the shame that binds them to their past failures.

Written for therapists, Co-Creating Change shows what to do to help "stuck" patients (those who resist the therapy process) let go of their resistance and self-defeating behaviors and willingly co-create a relationship for change instead. Co-Creating Change includes clinical vignettes that illustrate hundreds of therapeutic impasses taken from actual sessions, showing how to understand patients and how to intervene effectively. The book provides clear, systematic steps for assessing patients' needs and intervening to develop an effective relationship for change. Co-Creating Change presents an integrative theory that uses elements of behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, emotion-focused therapy, psychoanalysis, and mindfulness. This empirically validated treatment is effective with a wide range of patients.

Excessive shame can be associated with poor psychological adjustment, interpersonal difficulties, and overall poor life functioning. Consequently, shame is prevalent among individuals undergoing psychotherapy. Yet, there is limited guidance for clinicians trying to help their clients deal with shame-related concerns. This book explores the manifestations of shame and presents several approaches for treatment. It brings together the insights of master clinicians from different theoretical and practice orientations, such as psychodynamics, object relations, emotion-focused therapy, functional analysis, group therapy, family therapy, and couples therapy. The chapters address all aspects of shame, including how it develops, how it relates to psychological difficulties, how to recognize it, and how to help clients resolve it. Strategies for dealing with therapist shame are also provided, since therapist shame can be triggered during sessions and can complicate the therapeutic alliance. With rich, detailed case studies in almost every chapter, this book will be a practical resource for clinicians working with a broad range of populations and clinical problems.