Thousands of jokes and zingers to expand your repertoire and become a master of comedy! Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

Funny One Liners! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! With this funny collection of one-liner jokes for adults you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh and laugh at this funny joke book. Funny One-Liner Jokes for Adults! Sex jokes Bar jokes Blonde jokes Divorce jokes Men and Women jokes The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

A collection of one-liners, knock-knock jokes, and tongue twisters.

After the mind blowing success of Volume One, here it is! Another fabulous compilation of the world's best one-liners and short jokes in over forty categories such as Doctors, Celebrities, Law and Order and so many more. "I wanted to join Paranoids Anonymous but they wouldn't tell me where they met" "I've been telling people about the benefit of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness" "I tried taking a selfie in the shower but it keeps coming out blurry. I have selfie steam issues" You're in for a real treat with over 1000 giggles, groans and belly laughs designed to lift your mood and make your day! If laughter is the best medicine, there's enough here to dose up the entire world's population with a vaccine guaranteed to put a smile on your face and warm the cockles of your heart. For your instant inoculation of fatuous fun click the BUY NOW button!

The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Chester Croker is back with yet another massive book of puntastic gags.. This masterpiece is the third in the series and it is packed full of hilarious puns, funny Dad jokes and clever word play. Here is a sample of the 500 funny gags within the book: - I'm selling my collection of tennis racquets. First come first served. I've had a strange day. First of all, I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased by an angry, scruffy man with a guitar. I put a fence panel up today. I nailed it. I find it hard to believe that bears made porridge and the only thing wrong with it was the temperature. I don't understand why I can't lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake. I've started putting cash in a bush at the bottom of my garden. It's my hedge fund. There are an incredible 500 hilarious puns to be found inside this third punniest joke book ever. There is a huge collection of original puns, dad jokes and clever one-liners crafted to make you chuckle. The book is packed with razor-sharp wordplay and with 500 jokes, you'll be laughing out loud non-stop. There's only one way to find out just how side-splitting it can be, so buy this book now.