Bartenders not only make fabulous drinks, but also can be great listeners, confidants, and a sounding board to bounce jokes off of. Mark White, a popular bartender for over twenty years, shares a collection of clean jokes, related morals, and practical delivery tips designed to help the joke-teller communicate key life lessons in memorable ways to audiences of all ages and, most importantly, garner laughs. Many of the jokes are tailored for speakers who want to open a presentation with a key message while others are created to generate laughs around a campfire, entertain passengers on road trips, and charm guests at a dinner party. His jokes humorously reflect on such diverse subjects as pompous Scotch drinkers, dumb blondes, crazy Uber drivers, football game refreshments, and much more. 50 Hilarious Long Story Jokes is a collection of jokes, related morals, and delivery tips shared by a popular, seasoned bartender.

800+ More silly jokes for kids 6 to 12 to keep them laughing! Calling all comedians! This is the super silly joke-book sequel you've been waiting for! Welcome to The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids 2—the second installment in this best-selling kid's humor series that's guaranteed to make you a local legend—or, at least, the cleverest coyote on your block! Inside, you'll find hundreds of clean and corny jokes for kids, including knee-slappin' knock-knocks, side-splitting puns, rib-tickling riddles, and a whole lot more! All reading levels are sure to love it on long car rides, family vacations, and around the house. There's also a joke-writing chapter in the back to create your own laughs! The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids 2 features: Jokes galore—Discover family-friendly jokes for kids in every format that are sure to tickle your funny bone! Hilarious images—LOL-funny illustrations make reading engaging for all ages. Fun facts, too!—In every chapter, you'll find Silly Stats to learn a little as you laugh. You're sure to become the toast of the town with The Big Book of Silly Jokes for Kids 2!

Some random Mexican jokes from the book: A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?" His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not." *** A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold." Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm." Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone" *** What's a Mexican favorite book store? Borders. Did you hear about that one Mexican that went to college? Yeah.. me neither. How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy pushing it. What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed. What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike? Chase after him, it's probably yours! Why are Mexicans so short? They all live in basement apartments. Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time? How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? They don't work in the future, either. What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house? Adopted. Why do Mexican kids walk around school like they own the place? Because their dads built it and their mom clean it. 2 Mexicans are in a car, who is driving? A cop. Buy the book to read 100s more Mexican jokes!

Wayne Osmond has spent the past 50 years of his life entertaining audiences around the world. He and his family are known primarily for their singing, but Wayne has also etched out a distinctive identity as the comedian of the group. This compilation of jokes, photos, recipes, and family anecdotes is as eclectic as Wayne is, himself. From tap dancing with elephants to driving with gas masks, readers will be captivated by the lighthearted (and true!) stories found within the pages of this book. Entertaining, inspiring, and downright hilarious to those who know him best, Laugh Lines is sure to provide a good laugh for everyone, young and old.

This top-selling collection of pure fun (more than 295,000 copies sold) is back with a fresh and lively new cover to reach more readers eager to laugh. Puns, one-liners, jester-worthy jokes, and quirky quips will amaze and astound friends and family. Giggles are guaranteed as readers enjoy the crazy conversations and hilarious observations— “Daddy, the teacher was reading the Bible to us—all about the children of Israel building the temple, the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea, the children of Israel making sacrifices. Didn’t the grownups do anything?” “You’re the laziest fellow I have seen. Don’t you do anything quickly?” “Yes, I get tired fast.” “I haven’t slept for days.” “How come?” “I only sleep at night!”

Every year, Reader’s Digest readers send in tens of thousands of jokes and funny anecdotes, in their quest for a $100 check and, as an extra benefit, eternal glory: to have their joke published in the world’s best-read magazine. One man is stopping them from their quest. Andy Simmons. It takes a sense of humor. And Andy certainly has that. Not only is he the arbiter of all things funny in Reader’s Digest; he is their Mark Twain, Bill Cosby, and even their David Sedaris. In other words, Andy is the guy Reader’s Digest turns to whenever they need a funny story all of America can appreciate. He’s perfect for the job. Andy takes great delight in the funny and oddball side of everyday life. In Now That’s Funny!, Andy presents his most popular, funniest writings on all things America, some exclusive and all-new, some taken from the award-winning pages of Reader’s Digest. You’ll discover the Andy that goes out and tries things. His first-person tales of taking dance lessons, participating in a Revolutionary War reenactment, and even taking stand-up comedy lessons are some of the funniest articles to ever appear in Reader’s Digest. Then you discover the Andy that observes America. His roundups of dumb criminals, crazy lawsuits, ridiculous excuses and out-of-touch scientific research will have you roaring with laughter -- and feeling much better about yourself. Then there’s Andy, the family man. You’ll laugh out loud as he goes in search of his inner macho --or for the next stop on his vacation, if only he can find the directions. And Andy’s observations on marriage and fatherhood are as accurate as they are funny. Finally, there’s Andy the jokester. Here are tales from the job of trying to think, act, and be funny every workday, no matter what the dog did this morning on the rug. Tales of his sit-downs with comic legends from Robin Williams to Woody Allen will have you in stitches. Andy also shares his favorite jokes -- many of them too edgy for printing in Reader’s Digest! Add it up, and it’s a book filled with hundreds of feel-good, laugh-out-loud moments about life in these United States -- exactly the type of reading we need today!

Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more! Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on. “I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious. So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef. And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)—Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more. With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner.