When to Talk and When to Fight is a conversation between talkers and fighters. It introduces a new language to enable negotiators and activists to argue and collaborate across different schools of thought and action. Weaving beautiful storytelling and clear analysis, this book maps the habits of change-makers, explaining why some groups choose dialogue and negotiation while others practice confrontation and resistance. With lucid charts and graphs by Rosi Greenberg, When to Talk and When to Fight is a brilliant new way of talking about how we change the world.

When to Talk and When to Fight is a conversation between talkers and fighters. It introduces a new language to enable negotiators and activists to argue and collaborate across different schools of thought and action. Weaving beautiful storytelling and clear analysis, this book maps the habits of change-makers, explaining why some groups choose dialogue and negotiation while others practice confrontation and resistance. Why do some groups seemingly always take an antagonistic approach, challenging authority and in some cases trying to tear down our systems and institutions? Why are other groups reluctant to raise their voices or take a stand, limiting themselves to conciliatory strategies? And why do some of us ask only the first question, while others ask only the second? Threaded among examples of conflict, struggle, and change in organizations, communities, and society is the compelling personal story that led Subar to her community of practice at Dragonfly, advising leaders in social justice organizations on organizational and advocacy strategy. With lucid charts and graphs by Rosi Greenberg, When to Talk and When to Fight is a brilliant new way of talking about how we change the world. In his foreword, Douglas Stone, coauthor of the international best-seller Difficult Conversations, makes the case that negotiators need this language. In a separate forward, Esteban Kelly, cofounder of AORTA Anti-Oppression Resource and Training Alliance, explains why radicals and progressives need it. If you are a change-maker, you will soon find yourself speaking this language. Be one of the first to learn it. Read this book.

When trying to share your feelings, does it end up in a fight more times than not? Do you want constructive discussions with your partner that lead to deeper connection and a healthier relationship? Most of us never learned to effectively share our own feelings or how to receive the feelings of our partner. The good news is that it's a skill you can learn--and if you're in a relationship, it's a necessary skill. Being in a relationship without knowing how to share your feelings and receive your partner's feelings in useful ways is like jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim. You can flail around all you want, but it's not going to keep you afloat for very long--you need to be able to move in any direction at will. Like swimming, knowing how to share your feelings and respond to your partner's feelings will move your relationship in the direction you want: more intimacy, closeness, connection, and trust. In "Communicate Your Feelings (without starting a fight)", you'll get: Ways to avoid escalation, so you can be unafraid of a discussion spinning out of control The happiness and assurance that comes with knowing your relationship is heading in the right direction Ways to respond to your partner's feelings, so you can gain their trust once again 13 Communication Techniques, so you can be confident approaching discussions with your partner Ways to clarify your thoughts and feelings, increasing the likelihood that your partner will understand you Now is the time to have a happier relationship, so begin applying these techniques today.

A Harvard-trained lawyer and mediator shows busy couples how to stop fighting and start communicating. In Fight Less, Love More, readers will learn how to identify the bad verbal habits, instinctive responses, and emotional reasoning that can cloud judgment and ultimately lead to the deterioration of otherwise healthy relationships. With exercises, examples, and sample scripts, Puhn’s modern voice presents simple 5-minute strategies create immediate, positive changes and provide long-lasting communication skills that couples can continually employ when faced with conflict.

Whether a side-street skirmish or an all-out war, fight scenes bring action to the pages of every kind of fiction. But a poorly done or unbelievable fight scene can ruin a great book in an instant. In Fight Write you'll learn practical tips, terminology, and the science behind crafting realistic fight scenes for your fiction. Broken up into "Rounds," trained fighter and writer Carla Hoch guides you through the many factors you'll need to consider when developing battles and brawls. • In Round 1, you will consider how the Who, When, Where, and Why questions affect what type of fight scene you want to craft. • Round 2 delves into the human factors of biology (think fight or flight and adrenaline) and psychology (aggression and response to injuring or killing another person). • Round 3 explores different fighting styles that are appropriate for different situations: How would a character fight from a prone position versus being attacked in the street? What is the vocabulary used to describe these styles? • Round 4 considers weaponry and will guide you to select the best weapon for your characters, including nontraditional weapons of opportunity, while also thinking about the nitty-gritty details of using them. • In Round 5, you'll learn how to accurately describe realistic injuries sustained from the fights and certain weapons, and what kind of injuries will kill a character or render them unable to fight further. By taking into account where your character is in the world, when in history the fight is happening, what the character's motivation for fighting is, and much more, you'll be able write fight scenes unique to your plot and characters, all while satisfying your reader's discerning eye.

The art of negotiation—from one of the country’s most eminent practitioners and the Chair of the Harvard Law School’s Program on Negotiation. One of the country’s most eminent practitioners of the art and science of negotiation offers practical advice for the most challenging conflicts—when you are facing an adversary you don’t trust, who may harm you, or who you may even feel is evil. This lively, informative, emotionally compelling book identifies the tools one needs to make wise decisions about life’s most challenging conflicts.

What do partners do after a fight? If they're like most people, they apologize: "I'm sorry. I had a bad day and I took it out on you." Or, they wake up the next morning and pretend that nothing happened, hoping their partner will do the same. In neither case do they talk about the fight. They're too afraid that doing so will simply rekindle it--and they're right; it probably would. But since they don't talk about the fight, nothing ever really gets resolved. Daniel B. Wile, author of Couples Therapy and After the Honeymoon, devotes this entire book to an analysis of a single night in the life of a couple, Marie and Paul. By tapping into their self-talk (their ongoing conversations with themselves), he discovers what starts, escalates, and rekindles fights--and also, what potentially allows for a useful conversation about a fight. Wile reveals the half-thoughts and half-feelings that generally go unnoticed: the anxious flashes; depressive waves; two-second, self-directed diatribes; and two-second mental divorces.