Relationship specialist Lisa Brateman, LCSW offers couples strategies that will help them fight better so they can transform conflicts into conversations, in a book that Booklist says, "will likely help many couples.” What Are We Really Fighting About? How to Transform Conflicts into Conversations gives couples permission to fight. Because, after all, everyone does. They fight about loaded issues like financial infidelity and different ways of spending money, sexual infidelity, working too much, traveling too much, fighting too much, not being involved in childcare, interfering in-laws, levels of intimacy, routine sex or boring sex, body image, guilt, secrets, vulnerability, hopes, and fears. And the elephant in the room: Why won’t he/she /they change? We’re so conditioned to think that all fights and arguments are bad, but that isn’t true. This book shows couples that fighting can be productive if they learn to fight in a way that isn’t hurtful and shift away from entrenched patterns that aren’t working. It’s okay to feel angry with a partner and have a heated argument if couples fight with respect, acceptance, and love—and then reconcile differences and disagreements. What Are We Really Fighting About? shows couples exactly how to change sides—to understand their partners’ pain, to acknowledge and appreciate their perspective, and ultimately to create an environment where vulnerability is welcome. Many examples of couples who have successfully mastered the art of productive arguments will enable readers to use these techniques in their own relationships. As a result, readers will learn how to fight better by articulating what they need and what is possible, and then find ways to make conflict productive and healthy. Developing the skills to turn conflicts into conversations will open the space for understanding.

Born out of the excitement of a convergence of ideas and passions, this book provides a synthesis of the work of researchers, clinicians, and theoreticians who are leaders in the field of trauma, attachment, and psychotherapy. As we move into the third millennium, the field of mental health is in an exciting position to bring together diverse ideas from a range of disciplines that illuminate our understanding of human experience: neurobiology, developmental psychology, traumatology, and systems theory. The contributors emphasize the ways in which the social environment, including relationships of childhood, adulthood, and the treatment milieu change aspects of the structure of the brain and ultimately alter the mind.

“A tightly written narrative history.” —Harvard magazine It was an enigma of the Vietnam War: American troops kept killing the Viet Cong—and were being killed in the process—and yet the Viet Cong's ranks continued to grow. When one man—CIA analyst Sam Adams—uncovered documents suggesting a Viet Cong army more than twice as numerous as previously reckoned, another war erupted, this time within the ranks of America's intelligence community. This clandestine conflict, which burst into public view during the acrimonious lawsuit Westmoreland v. CBS, involved the highest levels of the U.S. government. The central issue in the trial, as in the war itself, was the calamitous failure of our intelligence agencies to ascertain the strength of the Viet Cong and get that information to our troops in a timely fashion. The legacy of this failure—whether due to institutional inertia, misguided politics, or individual hubris—haunts our nation. And Sam Adams’ tireless crusade for “honest intelligence” resonates strongly today. To detractors like Richard Helms, Adams was an obsessive zealot; to others, he was a patriot of rare integrity and moral courage. Adams was the driving force behind the CBS ninety-minute documentary The Uncounted Enemy, produced by George Crile and hosted by Mike Wallace. Westmoreland brought a lawsuit seeking $120 million in damages against Adams and Wallace in what headlines around the country trumpeted as the libel trial of the century. Westmoreland dropped his suit before the case could be sent to the jury. Who the Hell Are We Fighting? is the first serious narrative history of Adams' controversial discovery of the Vietnam "numbers gap." Hiam's book is a timeless, cautionary tale that combines the best elements of biography, military history, and current affairs. Praise for Who the Hell Are We Fighting? “Hiam’s book offers a rich oral history relying upon the recollections of many key players, friend and foe alike, as well as Adams’s meticulous notes, court documents, and other relevant sources.” —Library Journal “In the late 1960s, CIA analyst Sam Adams was almost alone in showing what one honest person can do in the face of political and bureaucratic corruption that twisted the truth about America’s enemy strength during the ten-year war in Vietnam. Now, C. Michael Hiam provides new insight into Adams’s epic battle.” —Alex Beam, Newsday “In times of White House obfuscation, it’s a pleasure to be able to read about the candor—against all odds—of courageous patriots like Sam Adams.” —Mike Wallace “A definitive contribution to an understanding of the most acrimonious intelligence controversy of the Vietnam War.” —George W. Allen, author of None So Blind: A Personal Account of the Intelligence Failure in Vietnam “An excellent book…should bring [Sam Adams’s story] to the attention of many who know nothing of the passions or the conflicts of that time.” —Larry McMurtry “Take up this book and let Michael Hiam lead you toward a final understanding of how military and civilian intelligence failed us during the Vietnam War.” —John Rolfe Gardiner, author of Double Stitch For more about this and other books by Michael Hiam, visit thelafargeagency.com/book/who-the-hell-are-we-fighting/

Powerful tools for spreading peace in your community Unfounded beliefs and hateful political and social divisions that can cascade into violence are threatening to pull the world apart. Responding to fear and aggression strategically and with compassion is vital if we are to push back against the politics of hate and live in greater safety and harmony. But how to do it? Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond. Coverage includes: An explanation of the different styles of conflict Cognitive biases that help explain polarized and lose-lose positions Practical methods and activities for changing our own and others' minds When punishment works and doesn't, and how to encourage discipline in children without using violence The skill of self-compassion and ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves and others Incredible programs that are rebuilding trust between people after genocide. Packed with inspiration and cutting-edge findings from fields including neuroscience, social psychology, and behavioural economics, Are We Done Fighting? is an essential toolkit for activists, community and peace groups, and students and instructors working to build dialogue, understanding, and peace as the antidote to the politics of hate and division. AWARDS SILVER | 2019 Nautilus Book Awards: Social Change & Social Justice

In an update of the groundbreaking original title, Dr. Juli Slattery illuminates the power of women in marriage, with an emphasis on the uniqueness of a woman’s capacity to build intimacy. What do you do if your husband won’t get a job? When you don’t like the way he's parenting the kids? How do you know when to stand up to a controlling husband—or if you’ve become a controlling or manipulative wife? Many women feel lost in their marriages. They don't know what to do with their disappointment, when to ask for help, or what it looks like to let go of the need to control. Yet, God has given women incredible power in marriage—but they have to learn how to use it. In a complete rewrite of her bestselling book, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, psychologist Dr. Juli Slattery gently guides women to see how their attempts to manage or fix the messiness of marriage may actually undermine the very connection they want to build. As you read this book, you will: See how disappointment in marriage isn’t the end of intimacy, but an opportunity to build true intimacy that will go the distance. Learn to use your relational power in a way that builds intimacy—instead of sabotaging it. Recognize the ways you unknowingly sabotage intimacy by using your power to take over in marriage. Understand what biblical submission isn’t and be empowered to step into the influence and responsibility you have within marriage. Solidly grounded in biblical truth, Juli covers topics such as work, home life, conflict, and intimacy. As a mentor and friend, she offers explanations of God’s design, healthy expectations, and relatable applications that women of faith can practice to influence their marriage and deepen their relationship with God. Ultimately, Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited, will help a wife more clearly see and encourage the hero within her husband by examining her own heart.

In this counter intuitive book, author Dr. Greg Smalley maintains that fighting is actually good for a marriage. Couples will learn how to fight their way to a better marriage, using the skills, concepts, and exercises shared in this remarkable book.