A powerful memoir about the joys and pains of making a family. In 2008, Ann and Dan made the life-altering decision to start a family. In their mid-forties and inspired by various stories that they had heard, the couple decided to adopt special needs children through foster care. Not wanting to separate siblings, Ann and Dan’s family eventually grows to seven, first with the adoption of Jimmy and Ruby, and then Jason, Susie, and Anthony. But, the transition was not without its challenges. The children, aged five to ten years old, had been neglected, abused, and diagnosed with behavioral, cognitive, medical, and psychiatric conditions, none of which could be treated medically. Their first months in their new home were intense, overwhelming, and on occasion, violent. With numerous outbursts and incidents, Ann and Dan’s patience and resolve were constantly tested. But slowly, when surrounded with stability, warmth, compassion, and love, the children settled in and became a family. Poignant and heartfelt, We Adopted Five Special-Needs Foster Kids is for any reader who has ever been part of a family.

There are great rewards that come along with being a foster parent, yet there are also great challenges that can leave you feeling depleted, alone, and discouraged. The many burdens of a foster parent's day--hurting children, struggling biological parents, and a broken system--are only compounded by the many burdens of a foster parent's heart--confusion, anxiety, heartache, anger, and fear. With the compassion and insight of a fellow foster parent, Jamie C. Finn helps you see your struggles through the lens of the gospel, bringing biblical truths to bear on your unique everyday realities. In these short, easy-to-read chapters, you'll find honest, personal stories and practical lessons that provide encouragement and direction from God's Word as you walk the journey of foster parenting.

"Birthdays may be difficult for me." "I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family." "When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me." "I am afraid you will abandon me." The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents. Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.

“Toni walks us through the experience of having foster children with undiagnosed mental illness . . . moving and heart-wrenching” (Marcia Stein, PHR, CA, author of Strained Relations). As an infant, Daniel entered the foster care system as a result of severe neglect, which manifested in violence and aggression later in his childhood after he was adopted by Jim and Toni Hoy. Desperate to get him into a residential treatment center and keep their other children safe, Jim and Toni were given two options by the state of Illinois: either keep him in a psychiatric hospital or be charged by the Department of Children and Family Services with child endangerment for failure to protect their other children. Mental health professionals recommended abandoning Daniel at the hospital after the state denied all viable sources of funding for his treatment. So Daniel re-entered the foster care system for no other reason than he was mentally ill. A year later, Daniel’s mother discovered that his treatment was covered by a funding source that he was awarded as part of his special needs adoption. How could they get the state government to understand the federal law and re-gain custody of their son? Second Time Foster Child is the story of parents who never gave up on their son, despite being prosecuted and persecuted in exchange for his medically necessary treatment. “Toni Hoy bares her soul in this courageous true story of her family’s journey to help and heal her severely traumatized adopted son.” —Michael Groomer, founder, and Beverly Hansen, executive director, Advocates for Children of Trauma

This book shows how to work successfully with emotional and behavioral problems rooted in deficient early attachments. In particular, it addresses the emotional difficulties of many of the foster and adopted children living in our country who are unable to form secure attachments. Traditional interventions, which do not teach parents how to successfully engage the child, frequently do not provide the means by which the seriously damaged child can form the secure attachment that underlies behavioral change. Dr. Daniel Hughes maps out a treatment plan designed to help the child begin to experience and accept, from both the therapist and the parents, affective attunement that he or she should have received in the first few years of life. Hughes' approach includes: —Using foster and adopted parents as co-therapists —Teaching differentiation between old and new parents —Overcoming the perception of discipline as abusive —Framing misbehavior, discipline, conflicts, and parental authority as important aspects of a child's learning to trust. All children, at the core of their beings, need to be attached to someone who considers them to be very special and who is committed to providing for their ongoing care. Children who lose their birth parents desperately need such a relationship if they are to heal and grow. This book shows therapists how to facilitate this crucial bond. A Jason Aronson Book

Originally published in 1993, this classic piece of literature on adoption has revolutionised the way people think about adopted children. Nancy Verrier examines the life-long consequences of the 'primal wound' - the wound that is caused when a child is separated from its mother - for adopted people. Her argument is supported by thorough research in pre- and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding and the effects of loss.

On one memorable day, while Bishop Martin and his wife, Donna, were in prayer together, God gave them a one-word message: "Adopt!" Over the next five years, the Martins would adopt four kids. Others in their church community have heard the call and have now adopted 72 children.