Two men in England photographed each other stealing thousands of dollars from gambling machines. An armed man successfully robbed a pharmacy and was captured after he boasted about it on social media. A burglar spent some time cleaning the house he was robbing, and even restocked some groceries, before he was discovered fast asleep in the homeowner’s bed. (“He did burn an old saucepan, but that happens!” reported the homeowner.) Two drunken louts stole a penguin from an aquarium and tried to release him into a canal when they were sober (he was returned to the polar enclosure, unharmed). Another man attempted to hold up a bank using a cucumber as a weapon. Two fellows tried to rob a bar where the town’s police department was holding a retirement party for one of its members. For every Moriarty, there are a thousand stupid criminals who get caught in the act, or who boast about their success on social media, or whose acts are so outrageous that the police have little difficulty tracking them down. Throughout history, these criminals have been easily captured, and have sometimes even died during an ill-fated escape. New criminals are apprehended every day thanks to their own genius, their exploits captured on YouTube and Instagram. Veteran reporter Jack Kirchhoff has recorded more than one hundred of the most ridiculous, absurd and bizarre crimes that have landed on the police blotter in recent years. Hilarious and outrageous, this book will make you shake your head and perhaps second-guess your own plans to commit petty larceny.

First came the New York Times bestseller America's Dumbest Criminals™, then there were more amazing tales of stupid but true crimes in Wanted! Dumb or Alive. In this book, hilarious criminal cluelessness is uncovered on every continent in one hundred new stories.

Two men photographed each other stealing thousands of dollars from gambling machines. An armed man successfully robbed a pharmacy and was captured after he boasted about it on social media. A burglar spent time cleaning the house he was robbing and even restocked some groceries before he was discovered fast asleep in the homeowner’s bed. Two drunken louts stole a penguin from an aquarium and tried to release it into a canal once they were sober (the creature was returned to the polar enclosure, unharmed). Another man attempted to hold up a bank using a cucumber as a weapon. Two fellows tried to rob a bar where the town’s police department was holding a retirement party for one of its members. For every Moriarty, there are a thousand stupid criminals who get caught in the act, or who boast about their success on social media, or whose plans are so foolish that the police have little difficulty tracking them down. Throughout history, these criminals have been easily captured; some have even died during an ill-fated escape. New criminals are apprehended every day thanks to their own genius, their exploits captured on YouTube and Instagram. The World’s Dumbest Criminals records more than one hundred of the most ridiculous, absurd and bizarre crimes that have landed on the police blotter in recent years. Hilarious and outrageous, this book will make you shake your head and perhaps second-guess your own plans to commit petty larceny.

100 crazy stories of America's dumbest criminals. WARNING: The crimes you are about to read are true. The names have been changed . . . to protect the ignorant. Here is the ultimate collection of the most incredibly stupid and painfully dumb attempts at crime ever brought together. The woman who invalidated her winning $5,000 lottery ticket by altering it to match the $20 prize number The accused vending-machine thief who paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters The streaking robber who thought clothes would make him more identifiable The convenience store thief who got away with just a hotdog, only to end up in the parking lot choking on the wiener

Did you hear the one about the crook who broke into a vending machine and then left a trail of cheese curls all the way to his hideout? Or the burglar who left his wallet in an apartment he robbed, and actually went back to get it? Based on the Stupid criminals busted! column in National Geographic kids magazine, this collection of stories about stupid criminals and the ridiculous ways they give themselves away is illustrated with collage art and sprinkled with more than 150 weird-but-true facts about crime.

This hysterical collection of stories of actual crimes committed by clumsy#xD;crooks and fumbling felons will have you laughing out loud at painfully dumb#xD;attempts at crime. Illustrated.