Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's easier with The Little Book of Big Excuses, with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you didn't do, things you did wrong, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: "Fake Don't Flake." In here are your excuses for being late for or not showing up to any number of places for any number of reasons--grandma's birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentists appointments. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" is where to look when you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name--again. Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. If you need to learn how to say "I'd Love to, but"--the art of articulating just why you can't do most anything you don't want to do--in any language, this is the book for you. Demonstrate your incompetence. When someone asks you to bring those complicated hors d'oeuvres, show up half an hour late with half the ingredients. Bonus section here: how to get someone else to do all the work while you still get the credit. "Delivery Subsystem Failure--Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!" Never, ever again will you want for an excuse for not writing, calling, IMing, or emailing. Fake communication breakdowns make fail-safe excuses for a myriad of don't wannas and didn't do its. "All's Fair in Love" contains excuses for not calling, not going on the second date, forgetting the birthday or anniversary of the one you love. Plus how to retreat with remorse, even from the altar steps. Hint: You could have your mother or your manager phone it in. That's what Julia Roberts did. * Hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations, plus "The Excuse Clinic: How to Make Lame Excuses Walk and Okay Excuses Sing." * Life is serious business, people, so pay attention. Let Addie help you off the hook.

Ever been caught with your trousers down (literally or metaphorically) and needed a good excuse? Look no further, A Little Book of Excuses will have excuses to cover every situation: 'I can't come in to work today because I'm stalking my ex-boss who fired me for not showing up for work.' 'I've used up all my sick days... so I'm calling in dead.' 'She meant nothing to me.... other than a night of wild passion that i will remember to the end of my days and against which i will measure all other women.'

If you're in need of a day off, an alibi, a massive governmental cover-up, a reason not to see your nanna when you've got a love bite, or you simply want an excuse to behave badly, then this is the book for you! Forget the hairy old 'dog ate my homework' - you need a bunch of all-new all-purpose excuses- I am currently the object of a large land, air and sea search The batteries in my magic wand wore out My pants are on fire

In his fourth book for children, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer focuses on the topic of excuses and how they can do more harm than we realize. The book demonstrates how excuses go far beyond "my dog ate my homework," and can actually become words that prevent your child from reaching his or her potential.The book follows a boy with a seemingly impossible dream who almost lets excuses ("I’m not smart enough" . . . "It’s too hard," and so on) get in his way.He discovers, as will your child, that by following a few simple ideas and eliminating excuses . . . anything is possible!

Everyone's favourite yellow sponge has an excuse for everything!

“No Excuses” is the true story of a boy traveling across America with his family and their fifty-foot-long trailer full of adventures in the 1950’s. Going to fifteen schools, in ten states, and twenty-four moves, Larry ventured his life from adventure to adventure. From the ‘Muscadine highway,’ to ‘the runaway tractor’ the trailer boy lived thrilling escapades. You will become a part of this soul stirring journey from Gallatin to the Mojave Desert or dancing at the Black Hawk Grill. The author bids you to join him in the ‘53 Ford, descending the wicked Sitgreaves Pass pushed by the sixteen thousand pounds of the Simpson’s home on wheels. Travel with the ‘kid’ as he makes his own and others’ lives a ‘gala affair’. High thrilling adventure awaits you with joy and tears from this one blessed life. The trailer boy’s inspiring story will move you to live your only life fully without excuses.

Welcome to the cat excuse universe! It's a place of fur balls, dead things turned into feline playthings, hours spent catnapping--and stubborn, naughty little creatures who do what they want, never what they're asked. Cats are full of excuses, so any human who happens to be owned by one should use this delightful comic collection to prepare for its sly explanations and justifications. A charmingly line-drawn, highly humorous, and personality-filled kitty presents all the reasons why "I can't." "I'm shedding, I'm salivating, I'm kneading" (but not needing) "you, my ears are rotating," Or she can't be bothered listening because she's having an intense catnip experience. Cat lovers will recognize every funny scenario...and their pets will want to sneak a peek to discover new ideas.