Anyone from baby boomers to millennials who appreciates sarcasm will laugh out loud at the stories and often relatable life experiences of Eigel, as they are representative of American life. This is the first book in the ToiletureTM Series. Toileture is a term Eigel has coined that defines the stories as: Literature in short form that can be read during one "sitting". These anecdotes and stories are not moderated by political correctness. So, enjoy and take no offense, for certainly none is intended. As Mark Twain famously opined, "Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that makes you smile." [faint] Praise for THE LIGHTER SIDE OF LIFE "This book was not reviewed nor read by JEFF FOXWORTHY. He probably would not have liked it." --Anonymous "Eigel dishonors the legacy of Star Trek and tarnishes the iconic uniform of a Starship Captain." --What WILLIAM SHATNER likely would say, had he seen the Author photo "I love these stories, they are so well crafted. I don't like the drinking parts though; why do you have to tell those parts?" --SUZANNE, Eigel's Mother "I haven't read these yet... I lived them, why do I have to read them?" --MAUREEN, Eigel's Wife Eigel grew up loving the likes of Lewis Grizzard and Paul Harvey and having a passion for the written word. Starting in 1996, he began writing an annual Christmas letter to be the antithesis of the typical letters. Self-deprecating humor and sarcasm were the impetus of his stories: real, embellished, or made up out of whole cloth. Those and many more are now compiled in this first book of Toileture. In addition to this book, he has written a biographical novella about his Father-in-law's experiences up to and through WWII, including the remarkable reuniting of four separated brothers following the Battle of the Bulge titled: 18 Hours in Liège--a Soldier's Story.

From the New York Times bestselling writing team comes a hilarious new collection of essays that observe life from a mother/daughter perspective New York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline and her daughter Francesca Serritella are the best of friends—99.9% of the time. They're number one on each other's speed dial and they tell each other everything—well, almost everything. They share shoes and clothes—except one very special green jacket, which almost caused a catfight. In other words, they're just like every mother and daughter in the world. Best friends, and occasional enemies. Now they're dishing about it all—their lives, their relationship, and their carb count. Inspired by their weekly column, "Chick Wit" for The Philadelphia Inquirer, this book is one you'll have to put down—just to stop laughing. Lisa on Being a Mom - Motherhood has no expiration date. Francesca lives in the city, and I worry about her all the time. My daughter moved out, so why am I still lactating? Francesca on Being a Daughter - My mother is always right. Just ask her. Lisa on Things Every Daughter Should Know - Your mother is always thinking about you, but that's not creepy. Your mother will never forget who did you dirty in the sixth grade, for which you can thank her. And your mother will never stop asking you if you need to go to the bathroom, before you leave the house. Well, do you? Francesca on Closet Wars - My mom is a great dresser. Mostly because she's wearing my clothes. Lisa on Aging Gracefully - My sex drive is in reverse, I have more whiskers than my cat, and my estrogen replacement is tequila. Francesca on Apartment Living - When I saw a mouse, the first person I called was Mom. She told me to call my super, but I felt bad bothering him. I hate to bother people. But I love to bother my mother.

Acclaimed YA author C. K. Kelly Martin offers a sexy, soulful story of one confused boy, two girls, and all the complications that ensue in this romantic feel-good love story that celebrates friendship, first love, first lust, and second chances. Sixteen-year-old Mason Rice is having the night of his life. He's just delivered an incredible performance in the school play, basked in celebratory afterglow vibes at the party of the year, and lost his virginity to one of his best friends—the gorgeous but previously unobtainable Kat Medina. His dreams are coming true, and the future looks golden. Unfortunately, Kat sees things very differently. Crossing the friendship line was a big mistake, and all she wants is to forget it and move on, even if that means forgetting Mason altogether. What's a guy to do? Well, if you're Mason, you hang your hopes on the first attractive twenty-three-year-old you cross paths with. At first Mason wonders if he's imagining the chemistry . . . until Colette invites him over to her apartment. Suddenly Mason's living in a whole new world. From the Hardcover edition.

Do you warsh your dishes and rinsh them in the zink? Do you eat mustgo for dinner? Heard about zombies in Wildwood or St. Louis Hills? Ghostly hitchhikers in Florissant? What or who is a St. Louis Hoosier? In St. Lou-isms, John "Dr. Jack" Oldani documents wholly new St. Louis folklore related to senior citizens, baby boomers, lawyers, nurses, new St. Louis vocabulary, Irish and Bosnian folklore, and even urban belief tales. Dogtown, St. Louis Hills, Valley Park, Wildwood, Ellisville, and other communities are connected through jokes, beliefs, tales, speech, lingo, graffiti, games, and other lore. St. Lou-isms decodes the lingo and traces the stories, shared by all St. Louisans. This book will keep you from being St. Louis "stupid," or a few clowns short of a circus! You can live, laugh, and learn to leave a legacy! For more than 30 years, Dr. John L. Oldani, a St. Louis native, has been a professor of American Studies and folklore at American and international universities. From his fieldwork, he has collected more than 150,000 folklore texts from the St. Louis area. He is the author of four other books on American folklore, one highlighting the American quilter.

What would happen if negative thoughts and actions smelled bad? If they STANK? Would we notice them more? Would we be less inclined to indulge in them? Attributing bad smells to our negative thoughts, actions, and attitudes, in STINKIN' THINKIN' STINKS Bill King provides both young readers and their older friends with techniques to recognize, deal with, and mitigate the negativity that holds so many of us back. Readers will: Become aware of negative thought patterns. Discover ways to eliminate negative thinking. Learn how to avoid a negative pack mentality. Access the positive in life. Develop techniques for dealing with negative people and situations. Embrace positivity as their dominant way of thinking. Full of fun activities designed to provide kids with real tools for changing negative habits, STINKIN' THINKIN' STINKS offers a cool new approach to exterminating negativity while inviting YOU to change YOUR LIFE! STINKIN' THINKIN' STINKS will inspire discussion, introspection, and change in readers of all ages.

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Reproduction of the original: The Lighter Side of English Life by Frank Frankfort Moore