Excerpt from The Funny Thing It was a beautiful. Dog in. The mountains The sun. Was playing hide-and-seek. Among Hme fluffg, Hooking clouds, and Hue culn was so: and. Woom. About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.

How can an old man and his wife select one cat from a choice of millions and trillions.

An indispensable reference for anyone who knows how to read—or wants to fool people into thinking they do—The Funny Thing Is... is sure to make you laugh. Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...And I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book. After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a work that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is... contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche and offers innovative features including: -More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs. -Thousands of observations on everyday life—from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem. -All twenty-six letters of the alphabet.

Seventeen of the funniest science fiction stories published in the past decade (2005-2015), featuring alien invasions, global conspiracies, time travel and even animal uprisings. Fiction by Hugo and Nebula award winners and nominees as well as talented newcomers. Stories were selected by the Unidentified Funny Objects series curator Alex Shvartsman.

Excerpt from Men and Things: America's Best Funny Stories WE left in the train for Switzerland, and reached Lucerne about ten o'clock at night. The first discovery I made was that the beauty of the lake had not been exaggerated. Within a day or two I made another discovery. This was, that the lauded Chamois is not a Wild goat; that it is not a horned animal; that it is not shy; that it does not avoid human society; and that there is no peril in hunting it. The Chamois is a black or brown creature no bigger than a mustard-seed; you do not have to go after it, it comes after you; it arrives in vast herds and Skips and scampers all over your body, inside your clothes; thus it is not Shy, but extremely sociable; it is not afraid of man, on the Contrary, it Will attack him; its bite is not dangerous, but neither is it pleasant; its activity has not been overstated, - if you try to put your finger on it, it will skip a thousand times its own length at one jump, and no eye is sharp enough to see Where it lights. About the Publisher Forgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.com This book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.

"This dramatic memoir recaptures William Seabrook's experiences during an eight-month stay at a Westchester mental hospital in the early 1930s. Seabrook, who was a renowned journalist, voluntarily committed himself for acute alcoholism. His account offers an honest, self-critical look at addiction and treatment in the days before Alcoholics Anonymous and other modern programs. William Seabrook is most famous for introducing the word Zombie to Western culture"--

Ancient Greece and Rome aren't usually remembered for their sense of humor. However, in reality the ancient Greeks and Romans often refused to take themselves seriously. The authors chronicle the more bizarre activities of the ancient world, venturing out as far as Egypt, Babylon, and Scandinavia, ranging everywhere from moochers to quacks to shrews to perhaps the oldest laundromat joke in history.