Prepare to be shocked. From the man The Wall Street Journal hailed as a "Swiftean satirist" comes the most shocking book ever written! The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers, by award-winning fake journalist Andy Borowitz, contains page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too -- yes, shocking -- for the mainstream press to handle. Sample the groundbreaking reporting from the news organization whose motto is "Give us thirty minutes -- we'll waste it."

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER * WALL STREET JOURNAL BESTSELLER *WASHINGTON POST BESTSELLER * Andy Borowitz, “one of the funniest people in America” (CBS Sunday Morning), brilliantly “chronicles our embrace of anti-intellectualism” (Walter Isaacson) in American politics, from Ronald Reagan to Dan Quayle, from George W. Bush to Sarah Palin, to its apotheosis in Donald J. Trump. Andy Borowitz has been called a “Swiftian satirist” (The Wall Street Journal) and “one of the country’s finest satirists” (The New York Times). Millions of fans and New Yorker readers enjoy his satirical news column “The Borowitz Report.” Now, in Profiles in Ignorance, he delivers “a wittily alarming polemic that tracks the evolution of American politics from grounds for gravitas to festival of idiocy” (The New York Times). Borowitz argues that over the past fifty years, American politicians have grown increasingly allergic to knowledge, and mass media have encouraged the election of ignoramuses by elevating candidates who are better at performing than thinking. Starting with Ronald Reagan’s first campaign for governor of California in 1966 and culminating with the election of Donald J. Trump to the White House, Borowitz shows how, during the age of twenty-four-hour news and social media, the US has elected politicians to positions of great power whose lack of the most basic information is terrifying. In addition to Reagan, Quayle, Bush, Palin, and Trump, Borowitz covers a host of congresspersons, senators, and governors who have helped lower the bar over the past five decades. Profiles in Ignorance aims to make us both laugh and cry: laugh at the idiotic antics of these public figures, and cry at the cataclysms these icons of ignorance have caused. But most importantly, the book delivers a call to action and a cause for optimism: History doesn’t move in a straight line, and we can change course if we act now.

Attention, CEOs: Finally, a book you don't have to cook! If you're a CEO who's just been caught, this is the book you won't want to be caught without. Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including: • How to go from "bitch" to "boss" in one week or less • The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisoners • Complete prison-slang/corporate-speak glossary • Prison cell feng shui • How to avoid getting back-stabbed -- literally • The Zagat guide to fine prison dining

THE TERMINATOR'S TERM, TOTALLY RECALLED! The real story of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's first one hundred days in office comes to life in vivid two-color photographs and completely fictitious captions. Governor Arnold tells the story of Schwarzenegger's historic first days in office, in pictures that are evocative, dramatic, and sometimes truly frightening -- especially the ones in which he is wearing no shirt. New Yorker humorist Andy Borowitz, creator of the award-winning website BorowitzReport.com, travels to Sacramento for an up-close, exclusive look at a man with a mission: to reshape California in his own monstrous, bulging-veined image. It's a book for history buffs...about the buffest man in history! Governor Arnold is guaranteed to make the Governator stop groping women...and start groping for superlatives!

The Jewish Moral Virtues is a book of musar - practical ethical wisdom applied to contemporary life. In form and purpose, it is parallel to William Bennett's bestselling Book of Virtues. Authors Borowitz and Schwartz synthesize traditional scholarship from a wide range of Jewish sources with personal insights into modern ethical dilemmas. Traditionally, Jewish ethical teachers have been concerned with law or general guidance for a good life, i.e., virtue, rather than philosophical meditations upon specific issues. This collection is structured upon the twenty-four virtues selected by a thirteenth-century Roman Jew, Yehiel ben Yekutiel, including trustworthiness, lovingkindness, compassion, generosity, charity, humility, and pure-heartedness, among others, and expands to include wisdom from the ancient rabbis, medieval philosophers, and Yehiel's successors over the past seven centuries.

When Getting Rich Quick Just Isn't Fast Enough!Many day trading books on the market today contain dubious advice, but never before has there been a book guaranteed to contain 100 percent dubious advice--until now. The Trillionaire Next Door is that book. Inside you'll find: The rock-solid, scientific principles of day trading explained in language so clear and concise it's almost insulting A glossary of key economic terms for the day trader, like "mousepad" and "click" Advice for the long-term investor: which stocks to hold in your portfolio for five, ten, fifteen minutes or more Confusing, meaningless graphs and charts Bad math And much, much more--but since day traders have short attention spans, not too much more "If The Trillionaire Next Door were a stock, I'd buy it, sell it, buy it, sell it, and buy it again--it's that good!" --Stacy Gellman, day trader

Borowitz creatively explores his theory of Covenant, linking self to folk and God through the contemporary idiom of relationship.