A self-help guide for those who have to take care of their aging parents. Caring for aging parents is difficult-it's exhausting, expensive, time-consuming, and under appreciated. And that's under the best of circumstances, when the caregiver loves and respects his or her aging parent. What happens when adult children are asked to care for elderly parents who were abusive, neglectful, or absent? Here is a compassionate and practical guide to facing the psychological and emotional issues that arise when caring for aging parents. Eleanor Cade offers sound as well as personal accounts from individuals who have made the choice to care for difficult parents. The result is a powerful guide to moving beyond feelings of anger, regret, and grief in order to build healthy new family dynamics based on decency and mercy.Target audience For individuals who are caring for aging, dysfunctional parents, as well as counselors and therapists who work with familiesFeaturesan authoritative resource for baby boomers caring for aging parentsdefines differences between "normal" and "dysfunctional" familiespersonal stories validate the experiences and feelings of readers

Now in paperback, one of the first books to help navigate the profound emotional challenges of caring for elderly parents in a strained parent-child relationship.

“This beautiful book, full of wisdom and warmth, teaches us how to protect and preserve our most valuable possessions—the relationships with those we love. It shows that the things that matter definitely aren’t ‘things,’ and how to empower your life in the right direction.” —Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Four simple phrases—“Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” “Thank you,” and “I love you”—carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives. These four phrases and the sentiments they convey provide a path to emotional wellbeing, guiding us through interpersonal difficulties to life with integrity and grace. Newly updated with stories from people who have turned to this life-altering book in their time of need, this motivational teaching about what really matters reminds us how we can honor each relationship every day. Dr. Ira Byock, an international leader in palliative care, explains how we can practice these life-affirming words in our day-to-day lives. Too often we assume that the people we love really know that we love them. Dr. Byock demonstrates the value of “stating the obvious” and provides practical insights into the benefits of letting go of old grudges and toxic emotions. His stories help us to forgive, appreciate, love, and celebrate one another and live life more fully. Using the Four Things in a wide range of life situations, we can experience emotional healing even in the wake of family strife, personal tragedy, divorce, or in the face of death. With practical wisdom and spiritual power, The Four Things That Matter Most gives us the language and guidance to honor and experience what really matters most in our lives every day.

A humorous guide to caring for aging parents sheds light on essential issues--including legal documents, Medicaid, end-of-life decisions, and more--and helps individuals prepare for the crises, confusion, and the unexpected joys of caregiving. Original.

A guide to caring for aging and ailing family members, which offers expert advice, illuminating vignettes, and a compassionate approach to building constructive, mutually gratifying relationships

For most of us it is not the "ifs" but the "whens": when I notice the first signs; when we mourn the role reversal; when my children need me too; or when I don't know how to pray. Those are just a few of the fifty-two reflections on the changes, challenges, and blessings of loving your parent as they grow older. Their lives--and yours--begin to change. Knowing that you are not alone, that others have been where you are, is encouraging and uplifting. This is not a how-to, but a me-too, as you see yourself and your own situation lived out in the stories of others.

Just a few of the vitally important lessons in caring for your aging parent—and yourself—from Jane Gross in A Bittersweet Season As painful as the role reversal between parent and child may be for you, assume it is worse for your mother or father, so take care not to demean or humiliate them. Avoid hospitals and emergency rooms, as well as multiple relocations from home to assisted living facility to nursing home, since all can cause dramatic declines in physical and cognitive well-being among the aged. Do not accept the canard that no decent child sends a parent to a nursing home. Good nursing home care, which supports the entire family, can be vastly superior to the pretty trappings but thin staffing of assisted living or the solitude of being at home, even with round-the-clock help. Important Facts Every state has its own laws, eligibility standards, and licensing requirements for financial, legal, residential, and other matters that affect the elderly, including qualification for Medicare. Assume anything you understand in the state where your parents once lived no longer applies if they move. Many doctors will not accept new Medicare patients, nor are they legally required to do so, especially significant if a parent is moving a long distance to be near family in old age. An adult child with power of attorney can use a parent’s money for legitimate expenses and thus hasten the spend-down to Medicaid eligibility. In other words, you are doing your parent no favor—assuming he or she is likely to exhaust personal financial resources—by paying rent, stocking the refrigerator, buying clothes, or taking him or her to the hairdresser or barber.