Spinglish—the devious dialect of English used by professional spin doctors—is all around us. And the fact is, until you’ve mastered it, politicians and corporations (not to mention your colleagues and friends) will continue putting things over on you, and generally getting the better of you, every minute of every day—without your even knowing it. However, once you perfect the art of terminological inexactitude, you’ll be the one manipulating and one-upping everyone else! And here’s the beauty part: Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf, authors of the New York Times semi-bestseller The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook, have compiled this handy yet astonishingly comprehensive lexicon and translation guide—a fictionary, if you will—to help you do just that. If you want to succeed in business (or politics, sports, the arts, or life in general) without really lying, this is the book for you! (Your results may vary.) Spinglish includes these nifty bits of spurious verbiage and over a thousand more: aesthetic procedure – face-lift dairy nutrients – cow manure enhanced interrogation techniques – torture “For your convenience.” – “For our convenience.” hands-on mentoring – sexual relations with a junior employee incomplete success – failure rightsizing – firing people zero-tasking – doing nothing With each and every entry sourced from some of the greatest real-life language benders in the world today, you’re virtually guaranteed to have the perfectly chosen tried-and-untrue term right at the tip of your forked tongue. Wish you could nimbly sidestep a question without batting an eye? Not sure how to apologize while also . . . not apologizing? Spinglish has you covered. Simply consult this convenient, shoot-from-the-lip glossary, and before you know it, you’ll be telling it like it isn’t, it wasn’t, and it couldn’t ever have been.

Spinglish—the devious dialect of English used by professional spin doctors—is all around us. And the fact is, until you’ve mastered it, politicians and corporations (not to mention your colleagues and friends) will continue putting things over on you, and generally getting the better of you, every minute of every day—without your even knowing it. However, once you perfect the art of terminological inexactitude, you’ll be the one manipulating and one-upping everyone else! And here’s the beauty part: Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf, authors of the New York Times semi-bestseller The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook, have compiled this handy yet astonishingly comprehensive lexicon and translation guide—a fictionary, if you will—to help you do just that. If you want to succeed in business (or politics, sports, the arts, or life in general) without really lying, this is the book for you! (Your results may vary.) Spinglish includes these nifty bits of spurious verbiage and over a thousand more: aesthetic procedure – face-lift dairy nutrients – cow manure enhanced interrogation techniques – torture “For your convenience.” – “For our convenience.” hands-on mentoring – sexual relations with a junior employee incomplete success – failure rightsizing – firing people zero-tasking – doing nothing With each and every entry sourced from some of the greatest real-life language benders in the world today, you’re virtually guaranteed to have the perfectly chosen tried-and-untrue term right at the tip of your forked tongue. Wish you could nimbly sidestep a question without batting an eye? Not sure how to apologize while also . . . not apologizing? Spinglish has you covered. Simply consult this convenient, shoot-from-the-lip glossary, and before you know it, you’ll be telling it like it isn’t, it wasn’t, and it couldn’t ever have been.

Spinglish--the devious dialect of English used by professional spin doctors--is all around us. And the fact is, until you've mastered it, politicians and corporations (not to mention your colleagues and friends) will continue putting things over on you, and generally getting the better of you, every minute of every day--without your even knowing it. However, once you perfect the art of terminological inexactitude, you'll be the one manipulating and one-upping everyone else! And here's the beauty part: Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf, authors of the New York Times semi-bestseller The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook, have compiled this handy yet astonishingly comprehensive lexicon and translation guide--a fictionary, if you will--to help you do just that. If you want to succeed in business (or politics, sports, the arts, or life in general) without really lying, this is the book for you! (Your results may vary.) Spinglish includes these nifty bits of spurious verbiage and over a thousand more: aesthetic procedure - face-lift dairy nutrients - cow manure enhanced interrogation techniques - torture "For your convenience." - "For our convenience." hands-on mentoring - sexual relations with a junior employee incomplete success - failure rightsizing - firing people zero-tasking - doing nothing With each and every entry sourced from some of the greatest real-life language benders in the world today, you're virtually guaranteed to have the perfectly chosen tried-and-untrue term right at the tip of your forked tongue. Wish you could nimbly sidestep a question without batting an eye? Not sure how to apologize while also . . . not apologizing? Spinglish has you covered. Simply consult this convenient, shoot-from-the-lip glossary, and before you know it, you'll be telling it like it isn't, it wasn't, and it couldn't ever have been.

Newly expanded and up-to-the-minute, a bestselling guide to survival in multicultural America in the sensitive 1990s. Includes even more real and satirical definitions to help keep thought cops away. Illustrated throughout.

An informative compendium of surprising ways you might die a horrible death at any moment from humor writers Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf.

Bestselling humorist Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations. In "X-Treme Latin" he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks, and wisecracks.

Chock-Full of Straight Talk About America. . . And Some Jokes, Too! Larry the Cable Guy on . . . NASCAR: It’s a lotta good old-fashioned fun started by a buncha moonshiners. Just seein’ all the ZZ Top–lookin’ folks drinkin’ beer, havin’ a good time, and not givin’ a darn is awesome. And that’s just the women! Dieting: I once went on the “liquid diet.” I was supposed to drink nothin’ but liquids for a week. But I got so drunk and sick of that Jim Beam and Coke, I’ll never drink it again. Why his catchphrase “git-r-done” is better than other catchphrases: Ya can’t be at a ball game with two outs in the ninth inning and yell to the pitcher “Bounty is the quicker picker-upper!!” It makes no sense. But you could yell “Git-r-done” and everyone would know what you meant. The red state–blue state divide: Is Dr. Seuss runnin’ the government? Larry’s mom on Larry’s book: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” —Larry’s mom Also available as an eBook.