All aspects of the zombie lifestyle are surveyed in this satirical take on an orientation manual for the newly undead. From how one became a zombie in the first place and the stages of zombification to survival mechanisms, this handbook offers specific advice on everything a fresh zombie needs to know about "life" expectancy, hunting techniques, hitching a ride, hand-to-mouth combat, and feeding etiquette. Instructions for extracting the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles are included along with dozens of helpful diagrams outlining attack strategies such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zak, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall for securing human prey and their all-important flesh and brains.

Megan Berry, a Carol, Arkansas, high school student who can communicate with the Undead, must team up with her childhood friend Ethan to save homecoming from an army of flesh-hungry zombies.

Algonquin “Ali” Rhodes, the high school newspaper’s music critic, meets an intriguing singer, Doug, while reviewing a gig. He’s a weird-looking guy—goth, but he seems sincere about it, like maybe he was into it back before it was cool. She introduces herself after the set, asking if he lives in Cornersville, and he replies, in his slow, quiet murmur, “Well, I don’t really live there, exactly. . . .” When Ali and Doug start dating, Ali is falling so hard she doesn’t notice a few odd signs: he never changes clothes, his head is a funny shape, and he says practically nothing out loud. Finally Marie, the school paper’s fashion editor, points out the obvious: Doug isn’t just a really sincere goth. He’s a zombie. Horrified that her feelings could have allowed her to overlook such a flaw, Ali breaks up with Doug, but learns that zombies are awfully hard to get rid of—at the same time she learns that vampires, a group as tightly-knit as the mafia, don’t think much of music critics who make fun of vampires in reviews. . . .

"112 possible endings. At least 7 in which you don't die!"--front cover.

B Smith has been reunited with the murderous maniac clown, Mr. Dowling. To her shock and consternation, he's desperate to make B his partner in crime. Mr. Dowling disgusts her, but B thinks she can see a way to control him and maybe even save the world. But it will involve a sacrifice far greater and more surreal than any she has contemplated before...

As the walking dead rise up throughout the world, a few brave doctors attempt to find a cure by applying forensic techniques to captured zombies. On a remote island a crack medical team has been sent to explore a radical theory that could uncover a cure for the epidemic. Based on the team's research and the observations of renowned zombie expert Dr. Stanley Blum, The Zombie Autopsies documents for the first time the unique biology of zombie organisms. Detailed drawings of the internal organs of actual zombies provide an accurate anatomy of these horrifying creatures. Zombie brains, hearts, lungs, skin, and digestive system are shown, while Dr. Blum's notes reveal shocking insights into how they function--even as Blum and his colleagues themselves begin to succumb to the plague. No one knows the ultimate fate of Dr. Blum or his researchers. But now that his notebook, The Zombie Autopsies, has been made available to the UN, the World Health Organization, and the general public, his scientific discoveries may be the last hope for humans on earth. "Humanity has a new weapon against the living dead and that weapon is Steven Schlozman!" -- New York Times bestselling author Max Brooks "I've written and made films about zombies for over forty years. In all that time, I've never been able to convince my audience that zombies actually exist. On page one of The Zombie Autopsies, Steven Schlozman takes away any doubt. This fast-moving, entertaining work will have you chuckling...and worrying." -- George A. Romero, director of Night of the Living Dead "Gruesome and gripping! Steven Schlozman reveals the science behind zombies from the inside out." -- Seth Grahame-Smith, New York Times bestselling author of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter "With The Zombie Autopsies, Steven Schlozman redefines 'weird science' for the 21st Century. Brilliant, bizarre and wonderfully disturbing." -- Jonathan Maberry, New York Times bestselling author of Rot & Ruin and Patient Zero "Dr. Steve's Zombie Autopsy will charm and excite a new generation into loving science." --Chuck Palahniuk, New York Times bestselling author of Fight Club

In one indispensable volume, Matt Mogk, founder and head of the Zombie Research Society, busts popular myths and answers all your raging questions about the living dead.