Explains how to break patterns of thinking that lead to anger, depression and violence, transform potential conflicts into compassionate dialogues, speak your mind without creating resistance or hostility, hear whatever is said to you as a "please" or "thank you", create greater depth and caring in your intimate relationships, and motivate with compassion rather than with fear, guilt or shame.

Drawing from Buddhist and yogic precepts, this practical guide offers tools for becoming a better, more compassionate communicator at home, at work, and in the world Have you ever tried to tell someone what you want only to feel misunderstood and frustrated? Or hesitated to ask for what you needed because you didn't want to burden the other person? Or been stuck in blame or anger that wouldn't go away? Judith and Ike Lasater, long-term students of yoga and Buddhism, experienced dilemmas like these, too. Even though they had studied the yoga principle of satya (truth) and the Buddhist precept of right speech, it was not until they began practicing Marshall Rosenberg's techniques of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) that they understood how to live satya and right speech. In What We Say Matters, Judith and Ike describe their journey through NVC and how speech becomes a spiritual practice based on giving and receiving with compassion—everywhere, all the time—whether at home, at work, or in the world. Their writing is deeply personal, punctuated by their recounts of trial and error, success and failure, laughter and challenge—even in writing this book! They guide you through an introduction to NVC with clear explanations, poignant examples, suggested exercises, and helpful resources. With practice, you'll learn new ways to: • Extend empathy to yourself and others • Distinguish between feelings and needs • Make requests rather than demands • Choose connection over conflict • Create mutually satisfying outcomes

5,000,000 COPIES SOLD WORLDWIDE • TRANSLATED IN MORE THAN 35 LANGUAGES What is Violent Communication? If "violent" means acting in ways that result in hurt or harm, then much of how we communicate—judging others, bullying, having racial bias, blaming, finger pointing, discriminating, speaking without listening, criticizing others or ourselves, name-calling, reacting when angry, using political rhetoric, being defensive or judging who's "good/bad" or what's "right/wrong" with people—could indeed be called "violent communication." What is Nonviolent Communication? Nonviolent Communication is the integration of four things: • Consciousness: a set of principles that support living a life of compassion, collaboration, courage, and authenticity • Language: understanding how words contribute to connection or distance • Communication: knowing how to ask for what we want, how to hear others even in disagreement, and how to move toward solutions that work for all • Means of influence: sharing "power with others" rather than using "power over others" Nonviolent Communication serves our desire to do three things: • Increase our ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection • Connect empathically with self and others to have more satisfying relationships • Sharing of resources so everyone is able to benefit

You’re about to have an uncomfortable meeting with your boss. The principal just called about your middle-schooler. You had a fight with your partner and it’s an hour before bed. You know your next move will go a long way toward defining your relationships with these individuals. So what do you do? We all find ourselves in situations similar to these and too often resort to the same old patterns of behavior—defending our need to be right, refusing to really listen, speaking cruelly out of anger and frustration, or worse. But there is another way. Living Nonviolent Communication gives you practical training in applying Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s renowned process in the areas he has most often been asked for counsel: Conflict resolutionWorking with angerSpiritual practiceHealing and reconciliationLoving relationshipsRaising children Nonviolent Communication has flourished for four decades across 35 countries for a simple reason: it works. Now you can learn to activate its healing and transformational potential, with Living Nonviolent Communication.

Find your voice, speak your truth, listen deeply—a guide to having more meaningful and mindful conversations through nonviolent communication We spend so much of our lives talking to each other, but how much are we simply running on automatic—relying on old habits and hoping for the best? Are we able to truly hear others and speak our mind in a clear and kind way, without needing to get defensive or go on the attack? In this groundbreaking synthesis of mindfulness, somatics, and Nonviolent Communication, Oren Jay Sofer offers simple yet powerful practices to develop healthy, effective, and satisfying ways of communicating. The techniques in Say What You Mean will help you to: • Feel confident during conversation • Stay focused on what really matters in an interaction • Listen for the authentic concerns behind what others say • Reduce anxiety before and during difficult conversations • Find nourishment in day-to-day interactions “Unconscious patterns of communication create separation not only in our personal lives, they also perpetuate patterns of misunderstanding and violence that pervade our world. With clarity and great insight, Oren Jay Sofer offers teachings and practices that train us to speak and listen with presence, courage, and an open heart.” —Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge

Marshall Rosenberg's remarkable process of Nonviolent CommunicationTM has gained worldwide recognition as a tool for turning even the most volatile situations into a natural interchange of compassion, generosity, and mutual enrichment. Modeled after this visionary peacemaker's nine-day international intensive retreats, The Nonviolent Communication Training Course presents the first ever self-guided curriculum for putting Rosenberg's transformative ideas into everyday practice—whether you're at the office, at the dinner table, in a parent-teacher conference—any situation where you want to honor what is alive in yourself and others. Join the pioneering creator of NVC for more than nine hours of in-depth instruction that includes: Nine immersive CDs that teach you how to use NVC to discuss difficult emotions, deepen intimate relationships, mediate impossible conflicts, and much moreWorkbook with more than 50 exercises to strengthen your ability to successfully apply NVC in the fieldSeven Nonviolent Communication training cards you can use on the spot to express yourself and listen to othersCourse objectives: Identify the four steps of the Nonviolent Communication processEmploy the four-step Nonviolent Communication process in every dialogue you engage inUtilize empathy to safely confront anger, fear, and other powerful emotionsDiscover how to overcome the blocks to compassion, and open to our natural desire to enrich the lives of those around us

A handbook designed to help you communicate with more authenticity, clarity, and empathy while in the midst of a conflict by using the principles of NVC. It will show you the most common pitfalls I come across while teaching and how to help avoid them. This book can help you speak with 100% authenticity without judging, blaming, or condemning anyone. Using the tools and strategies outlined in this book you will soon be able to turn every conflict into a deeper, more profound connection.