From New York Times bestselling author Michael Gurian comes a groundbreaking plan for happiness in love and marriage that shows you how to build healthy boundaries, work through past hurts, and create greater intimacy by maintaining emotional separateness. Become separate from your partner yet also become closer—sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? With twenty-five years of family and marital counseling practice, Michael Gurian shows that “intimate separateness” is the key to creating a healthy partnership in life. Recent university studies show that the most frequent reason relationships dissolve is not abuse, alcoholism, money, or even infidelity, but rather a lack of emotional fulfillment. Most books on love and marriage focus on teaching communication and conflict skills, but neglect to help couples with the “other half” of intimacy—separateness. In this practical yet personal guide to love, Gurian details the benefits of creating a lifelong balance of closeness and separateness. He outlines a twelve-stage model created for his own private practice, which provides long-term goals and focal points for dialogue that can help couples work through arguments. Gurian also delves into differences in white and gray matter between the male and female brain (which may explain the varying needs for intimacy and separateness), differences in verbal and emotive development, and the effects these all have on relationships. Rich with examples and case studies, this book presents strategies for communication and conflict that build more emotional balance, while showing how intimate separateness can be the key to lifelong happiness.

From New York Times bestselling author Michael Gurian comes a groundbreaking plan for happiness in love and marriage that shows you how to build healthy boundaries, work through past hurts, and create greater intimacy by maintaining emotional separateness. Become separate from your partner yet also become closer—sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? With twenty-five years of family and marital counseling practice, Michael Gurian shows that “intimate separateness” is the key to creating a healthy partnership in life. Recent university studies show that the most frequent reason relationships dissolve is not abuse, alcoholism, money, or even infidelity, but rather a lack of emotional fulfillment. Most books on love and marriage focus on teaching communication and conflict skills, but neglect to help couples with the “other half” of intimacy—separateness. In this practical yet personal guide to love, Gurian details the benefits of creating a lifelong balance of closeness and separateness. He outlines a twelve-stage model created for his own private practice, which provides long-term goals and focal points for dialogue that can help couples work through arguments. Gurian also delves into differences in white and gray matter between the male and female brain (which may explain the varying needs for intimacy and separateness), differences in verbal and emotive development, and the effects these all have on relationships. Rich with examples and case studies, this book presents strategies for communication and conflict that build more emotional balance, while showing how intimate separateness can be the key to lifelong happiness.

Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

Love and marriage are two of the greatest gifts life has to offer, yet too many marriages fail because couples don’t fully understand the five stages of relationships. Because most of us have had hurtful experiences in past relationships, often going back to childhood, we develop an inaccurate love map that causes us to get off track when the stresses of life increase. For more than 40 years, Jed Diamond has been helping couples repair even the most damaged relationships and reweave the broken strands of marriage. In The Enlightened Marriage, Dr. Diamond will help you: Get through Stage Three—Disillusionment without losing your love. Understand that when your partner says, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore,” it is not the end, but the beginning of Stage Four—Real Lasting Love. Learn why healing childhood wounds is the greatest gift of love you can give and receive from your partner. Recognize and address the mid-life stresses of “manopause,” irritable male syndrome, and male-type depression. Follow your calling in Stage Five to make a real difference in the world.

New York Times bestselling author Dr. Warren Farrell reveals solutions to the seven most important barriers to sustaining love—practices that have helped thousands of real couples rediscover their "soul mate" spark. When Dr. Farrell began teaching couples’ communication 30 years ago, he taught the wisdom of not being defensive in response to criticism. However, when a couple returned home and a criticism inevitably appeared, that wisdom disappeared. Couples needed to not just be taught this, but to practice both in the workshop and at home. With the help of decades of post-workshop feedback from real couples, Farrell perfected six mindsets that the couples found most effective to embrace criticism as an opportunity to feel more deeply loved—even while they are being criticized. Role Mate to Soul Mate guides couples on how to do this for two hours per week as a “Caring and Sharing Practice.” For the other 166 hours, couples create a “Conflict-Free Zone," which requires preventing criticisms from becoming conflicts. To do this, you’ll learn how to: Appreciate your loved one with five levels of specificity, both creatively and consistently Transform the “Four Depleters of Love” (Criticisms, Complaining, Complacency, and Controlling) into ways to deepen love Master the eleven “Soulmate Wisdoms” Play together, because “couples that play together stay together” Create win-win solutions to your stickiest problems Apply your new skills to family, friends, colleagues—and even political opponents Since falling in love is natural but sustaining love is unnatural, making these skills come naturally requires an evolutionary shift that is both an art and a discipline. The Role Mate to Soul Mate reward? A deeper, dynamic, and lifelong love.

The development of this couples relationship, with all of its problems, is reflected quite candidly in their experiences of living in an abusive relationship. This book speaks of the co-existence of a man and a woman who are trying to love each other and be committed for life but fail miserably. The book is divided into sections, each recounting a different stage of their eleven-year relationship. Each section is followed by life lessons, so the reader can learn from what this couple experienced. Each lesson looks at the root cause of an issue. A few examples are: being victimized, broken trust, drug abuse, true friendship, etc. These issues can exist in all intimate relationships today, so that all readers can benefit in learning from the relationship experiences.