Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...are you ready for Santa to visit your home?

Published anonymously in 1823, "The Night Before Christmas" has traditionally been attributed to Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863), who included it in his Poems (1844). But descendants of Henry Livingston (1748-1828) claim that he read it to his children as his own creation long before Moore is alleged to have composed it. This book evaluates the opposing arguments and for the first time uses the author-attribution techniques of modern computational stylistics to settle the long-standing dispute. Both writers left substantial bodies of verse, which have been computer analyzed for distinguishing characteristics. Employing a range of tests and introducing a new one--statistical analysis of phonemes--this study identifies the true author and makes a significant contribution to the growing field of attribution studies.

The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

In Kluger and Slavin's rendition, Christmas is no longer a time of sparkling snow globes and neighborly good will, but rather a celebration of profits, bonuses, and cutthroat competition--complete with disgruntled elves, outsourced Santas, union conflicts, Twittered conspiracies, randy reindeer, media hysteria, factory relocations, toxic merchandise, and a giant leveraged buyout that rocks the world from pole to pole. Packing their verse with hilariously spun rhymes ("The workers grew grim, as they churlishly chored / while Santa grew haplessly, craplessly bored") and even funnier illustrations (picture Santa jumping on Oprah's couch and Mrs. Claus in a racy Maxim cover photo), Kluger and Slavin spike the holiday eggnog with smart and saucy sass--not to mention loads of laughs. 'Twas the Night Before Christmas 21st Century Edition, makes the perfect stocking stuffer or lighthearted gift.

Pierce Waverly, the Earl of Devonmont, is estranged from his mother. When his mother's new companion, Mrs. Camilla Stuart, writes to tell him that his mother is seriously ill, he goes home. But when he learns that the lovely widow tricked him in order to effect a holiday reconciliation, he refuses to stay.

A history of our time.

This is a comprehensive history of the world's midwinter gift-givers, showcasing the extreme diversity in their depictions as well as the many traits and functions these characters share. It tracks the evolution of these figures from the tribal priests who presided over winter solstice celebrations thousands of years before the birth of Christ, to Christian notables like St. Martin and St. Nicholas, to a variety of secular figures who emerged throughout Europe following the Protestant Reformation. Finally, it explains how the popularity of a poem about a "miniature sleigh" and "eight tiny reindeer" helped consolidate the diverse European gift-givers into an enduring tradition in which American children awake early on Christmas morning to see what Santa brought. Although the names, appearance, attire and gift-giving practices of the world's winter solstice gift-givers differ greatly, they are all recognizable as Santa, the personification of the Christmas and Midwinter festivals. Despite efforts to eliminate him by groups as diverse as the Puritans of seventeenth century New England, the Communist Party of the twentieth century Soviet Union and the government of Nazi Germany, Santa has survived and prospered, becoming one of the best known and most beloved figures in the world.