A fun guide with tips and strategies for dogs to help make life with their humans more rewarding. Extensive photos and original illustrations.

Why do dogs wag their tails or stare at their toys? They're training their humans of course!

Jack-Jack, the world's coolest dog, shares his secrets of how to train his human in his second adventure. Humans may think they train us, but I reveal us dogs are the ones training you humans, especially when gravy bone treats are involved. My human has a lot to learn. If he really does want that stick, why does he insist on throwing it away every time I return it to him when we're having walkies? Weird behaviour! We won't be playing 'Fetch' again!

In "How to Train Your Human," a companion parrot offers pet bird advice in a conversational manner, with a little help from his owner, Author and Editor Sandy Lender.

How to Train Your HUMANS......Is the book for every mutt on the planet. And brought together over the years by Teddy the Jack Russell Alpha Dog, who is on his way to becoming the best adviser of those who desperately need to train the unthinkable, selfish, lazy, unthankful, workaholic, spendthrift into a loving kind, homely, good cooking...........Human friend that will love you........... Unconditionally forever! And if you're a fresh young pup or a middle aged mutty flee bag who is still not sure of why we always compromise in our quest for love and adventure, then you're gonna' have to learn quickly that life isn't always about THEM!If you have S.E.H.(social eclipse of the Head) Then you need to get the answers that have been right under that big wet nose of yours as to HOW in this world of this congestive overdrive of confusion will you ever be able to find, and train the right kind of human for you, and HOW to quickly take full control of their lives and the house to eventually live the dream!Did I just say the word "Compromise"??............ Well, forget and forgive me for that because I don't even know what the word means..........But when you DO find that imperfect 'trainable' human, then unconditional love and a little leverage for territorial rights will take precedence over all the unsociable 'Human Pack leaderships' inside Tesco's and the walk to the local boozer........!I can assure you it will all be worth your time and effort in the end where you come out on top and have full control of Your human's life for the rest of your life.............But only 'The Trainable Humans' can be..........Urmmmmm Trainable!!Warning!! Don't ever be tempted to waste time on the inhuman cruel bastards who hate us four legged friends...........It just ain't gonna' happen! (That's my little Americana slang I sometimes use to get the bitches hot on the trail........If you know what I mean!)Though I do have to alert you to the fact that training an imperfect human is going to take time and a long process of smart deceptions from you........but with my know-how of what to do and when to do it, you'll soon be running the race to having the best of both worlds in the palm of your paws.......And loving every minute!Throughout this book I have many thoughtful accounts of the times I didn't know "HOW" to train my human.......But after looking back over the years we've been together she is now finally accepting the fact that her failure, and every inch of her worn, torn life consists only of the many scents of me............ Till death us do part!These secrets are coming to you hot off the press...........So don't waste any time whinging if you can afford this book!The secrets are 100% garanteed to get you a life of your Dreams...............So what are waiting for?Get your human to buy this book and show them who's the boss in the house.........Don't leave it too late. and I'll see you when the smoke clears!!!

On days out to the beach, always be the first in the family to get out of the car, onto the beach and into the sea. Always be the last in the family to get out of the sea, onto the beach and into the car. Remember to shake excess sea water from your fur once you are inside the car. Humans may refrain from passing you food to test. To them, a piece of salmon, followed by Liquorice Allsorts, a chocolate cake, and a selection of vegetables is a foul combination. Humans believe meals should be categorised into three sections. A starter, a main course and a sweet. Disavow them of this. Food is food is food. Always make sure you have more energy at the end of a walk, than you did at the beginning. Believe me, humans love the futility of taking you for a walk to tire you out.