Perfect for the Scrooge in your life—a profane, hilarious takedown of all things cute and cuddly, by the author of the blog sensation of (almost) the same name Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long. There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds. But you are stronger than them, aren’t you? Those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you–and their free ride has just come to an end. F U, Penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power-hungry cute-mongers. Loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle-nursing baby pandas forever. ___________________________ "Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people... well, more people, anyway."—Jerry the Shark "Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices."—Dennis the Krill "It's all true. We're the worst."—Anonymous Penguin "The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion."—Edward the Dolphin "Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this style of book is not something we are currently looking for. However, we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers!"—Danielle the Bear, Editor-in-Chief, Random Cave Publishing

Penguins. One of the biggest beneficiaries of the Cute Industrial Complex, these waddling piles of adorable blubber have had a free ride for too long.F U, Penguin is about telling these brazen cute-mongers that they can't stay on top forever. They may think they have the world in the palm of their wing, but we can and will resist their powers.

A collectible hardcover edition of one of the great American novels—and one of America's most popular—featuring an introduction by Min Jin Lee, the New York Times bestselling author of Pachinko The basis for the Broadway musical starring Jeremy Jordan and Eva Noblezada One of The Atlantic’s Great American Novels of the Past 100 Years A Penguin Vitae Edition Young, handsome, and fabulously rich, Jay Gatsby seems to have everything. But at his mansion east of New York City, in West Egg, Long Island, where the party seems never to end, he's often alone in the glittering Jazz Age crowd, watching and waiting, as speculation swirls around him—that he's a bootlegger, that he was a German spy during the war, that he even killed a man. As writer Nick Carraway is drawn into this decadent orbit, he begins to see beneath the shimmering surface of the enigmatic Gatsby, for whom one thing will always be out of reach: Nick's cousin, the married Daisy Buchanan, whose house is visible from Gatsby's just across the bay. A brilliant evocation of the Roaring Twenties and a satire of a postwar America obsessed with wealth and status, The Great Gatsby is a novel whose power remains undiminished after a century. This edition, based on scholarship dating back to the novel's first publication in 1925, restores Fitzgerald's masterpiece to the original American classic he envisioned, and features an introduction addressing how gender, race, class, and sexuality complicate the pursuit of the American Dream. Penguin Vitae—loosely translated as "Penguin of one's life"—is a deluxe hardcover series from Penguin Classics celebrating a dynamic and diverse landscape of classic fiction and nonfiction from seventy-five years of classics publishing. Penguin Vitae provides readers with beautifully designed classics that have shaped the course of their lives, and welcomes new readers to discover these literary gifts of personal inspiration, intellectual engagement, and creative originality.

In the year that David Bowie died, Brexit shocked us, 'Hiddleswift' was a thing and Trump trumped, we are all asking ourselves was 2016 really the worst year ever? Find out in this special* commemorative book**. Inside this cathartic memento of the annus shitabulus that was 2016 you'll find a hilarious guide to everything that went wrong and the few - very few - things that actually went right. For example: - How was it that politics completely jumped the shark this year? - From Bowie to Prince, Ali to Cohen, we celebrate the many extraordinary artists who died rather than see Trump become President (Did Castro make it into the book? Close, but no cigar) - Compare 2016 with other terrible years in history - is it really the very worst? - Make sense of Manbuns, Pokemon Go, Hygge, Nigel Farage and other nonsense - With the aid of an electron microscope we hunt for something good that actually happened - Feel relieved about all the bad things that didn't occur - yet (there's always 2017, folks!) Featuring some really badly drawn illustrations, this comic compendium will soothe your troubled soul - before you throw it in the bin and prepare your mightily hungover self to face 2017. It has to be better, right? * i.e. hastily put together ** Warning: this book will spontaneously combust at midnight on December 31st 2016

On the day the penguin discovered the person, everything changed. The person was happy to see the penguin, and showed it how to roast marshmallows by the fire. When it was time for the penguin to go, she gave it her favorite roasting stick and a warm hug goodbye. Once the penguin showed its penguin friends how to roast marshmallows, they all wanted a turn. It was wonderful...until it wasn’t. You see, the trouble with penguins is that they don't always know how to say they're sorry. But, with a little help and teamwork, they discover sharing is always the best tactic. For fans of Oliver Jeffers, Jon Klassen, and Jory John comes a clever, irreverent debut picture book about an unlikely friendship between a penguin and a human that emphasizes the importance of sharing, patience, and, above all, friendship.

"Deliciously hilarious. If you care about people and enjoy a good laugh, I politely encourage you to read this book. Immediately." --Adam Grant, bestselling author of Originals From the brilliant comedic mind behind the hit movie Yes Man, a hilarious and pitch-perfect look at the rudeness that's all around us -- where it comes from, how it affects us, and what we can do about it You're not just imagining it: People are getting more and more rude - from cutting in line, gabbing on their phones and clipping their nails on public transportation, to hurling epithets on Twitter and in real life (including a certain President who does both). And the worst part is that it's contagious, leading reasonably courteous people to stoop to new lows in order to respond to the ever-coarsening encounters we face every day. In this engaging and illuminating new book, bestselling author and all-around curious guy Danny Wallace looks at the reasons behind the rudeness, and what we can do to stop it. His quest to stop the madness includes interviews with neuroscientists, psychologists, NASA scientists, politicians, and other experts. He joins a Radical Honesty group, talks to LA drivers about road rage, and confronts his own online troll in a pub--all to better understand the scourge that's turning normal people into bullies, tantruming toddlers, trolls, and other types of everyday monsters. Want to be part of the solution? Let Danny Wallace be your smart and funny guide.

A collection of 100 postcards, each featuring a different and iconic Penguin book jacket. From classics to crime, here are over seventy years of quintessentially British design in one box. In 1935 Allen Lane stood on a platform at Exeter railway station, looking for a good book for the journey to London. His disappointment at the poor range of paperbacks on offer led him to found Penguin Books. The quality paperback had arrived. Declaring that 'good design is no more expensive than bad', Lane was adamant that his Penguin paperbacks should cost no more than a packet of cigarettes, but that they should always look distinctive. Ever since then, from their original - now world-famous - look featuring three bold horizontal stripes, through many different stylish, inventive and iconic cover designs, Penguin's paperback jackets have been a constantly evolving part of Britain's culture. And whether they're for classics, crime, reference or prize-winning novels, they still follow Allen Lane's original design mantra. Sometimes, you definitely should judge a book by its cover.