A Parody of Fifty Shades of Grey. Romance. Intrigue. Domination. Control. Subservience. Clarity. Epiphany. Release. EUPHORIA. This book contains absolutely none of those things - it is literally the words "Shades of grey" repeated 50,000 times, and is a practical joke - a physical prop designed to amuse and confound people's expectations.

The #1 New York Times bestseller—a thrilling and seductive Cinderella love story from E L James, author of the phenomenal bestselling Fifty Shades Trilogy. Clasping her plait at the base of her neck, I tug lightly, bringing her lips up to mine. "Alessia," I breathe, and kiss her again, softly, slowly. She stills in my arms, then brings her hands up to clutch my biceps, closing her eyes as she accepts me. I deepen the kiss, my tongue teasing her lips, and she opens her mouth. She tastes of warmth and grace and sweet seduction. London, present day. Life has always been easy for Maxim Trevelyan, the "spare" to the earldom of Trevethick. With his good looks, aristocratic connections, and money, he's never had to work, and he's rarely slept alone. But all that changes when tragedy strikes and Maxim inherits his family's title, wealth, and estates, and the responsibility that entails. It's a role he's not prepared for and one he struggles to face. But his biggest challenge is fighting his desire for an unexpected, enigmatic young woman who's recently joined his staff. Reticent, beautiful, and musically gifted, she's an alluring mystery, possessing little more than a dangerous and troublesome past. As Maxim's longing for her deepens into a passion he's never experienced and dares not name, he's left to wonder just who is Alessia Demachi? And can he protect her from the malevolence that threatens her? From the heart of London through wild, rural Cornwall to the bleak, forbidding beauty of the Albanian Balkans, The Mister combines the sensuality of a modern Regency romance with the danger, desire, and adventure of E L James's captivating storytelling, leaving the reader breathless to the very last page.

From the New York Times bestselling author of the Thursday Next series comes a “laugh-out-loud funny” (Los Angeles Times) and “brilliantly original” (Booklist, starred review) novel of a man attempting to navigate a color-coded world. “A rich brew of dystopic fantasy and deadpan goofiness.”—The Washington Post Welcome to Chromatacia, where the Colortocracy rules society through a social hierarchy based on one’s limited color perception. In this world, you are what you can see. Eddie Russet wants to move up. When he and his father relocate to the backwater village of East Carmine, his carefully cultivated plans to leverage his better-than-average red perception and marry into a powerful family are quickly upended. Eddie must content with lethal swans, sneaky Yellows, inviolable rules, an enforced marriage to the hideous Violet deMauve, and a risky friendship with an intriguing Grey named Jane who shows Eddie that the apparent peace of his world is as much an illusion as color itself. Will Eddie be able to tread the fine line between total conformity—accepting the path, partner, and career delineated by his hue—and his instinctive curiosity that is bound to get him into trouble?

A Good Morning America Book Club Pick and New York Times Bestseller! From debut author Asha Lemmie, “a lovely, heartrending story about love and loss, prejudice and pain, and the sometimes dangerous, always durable ties that link a family together.” —Kristin Hannah, #1 New York Times–bestselling author of The Nightingale Kyoto, Japan, 1948. “Do not question. Do not fight. Do not resist.” Such is eight-year-old Noriko “Nori” Kamiza’s first lesson. She will not question why her mother abandoned her with only these final words. She will not fight her confinement to the attic of her grandparents’ imperial estate. And she will not resist the scalding chemical baths she receives daily to lighten her skin. The child of a married Japanese aristocrat and her African American GI lover, Nori is an outsider from birth. Her grandparents take her in, only to conceal her, fearful of a stain on the royal pedigree that they are desperate to uphold in a changing Japan. Obedient to a fault, Nori accepts her solitary life, despite her natural intellect and curiosity. But when chance brings her older half-brother, Akira, to the estate that is his inheritance and destiny, Nori finds in him an unlikely ally with whom she forms a powerful bond—a bond their formidable grandparents cannot allow and that will irrevocably change the lives they were always meant to lead. Because now that Nori has glimpsed a world in which perhaps there is a place for her after all, she is ready to fight to be a part of it—a battle that just might cost her everything. Spanning decades and continents, Fifty Words for Rain is a dazzling epic about the ties that bind, the ties that give you strength, and what it means to be free.

A titillating mashup of an erotic bestseller and a romantic classic, peppered with puns, this eBook is sure to satisfy those who love Fifty Shades of Grey and Pride and Prejudice! When Mr. Elliot Bingley comes to court Lizzy Bennet’s sister, she meets his mysterious, grey-eyed friend, a Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. It takes only one meeting before Lizzy is lured into Darcy’s secret world of lascivious practices and lusty urges. Her heart is racing and her bloomers quivering at the thought of submitting to Mr. Darcy’s every whim…

Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more! Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on. “I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious. So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef. And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)—Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more. With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner.

When Anastasia Steele, a young literature student, interviews wealthy young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, their initial meeting introduces Anastasia to an exciting new world that will change them both forever. Reissue. Movie tie-in.