Fat Poo's Halloween Zombie Jokes

Halloween Jokes 4 Kids Part 2

When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth. . . And law enforcement is ready to take them down! Since Night of the Living Dead, zombies have been a frightening fixture on the pop culture landscape, lumbering after hapless humans, slurping up brains and veins and whatever warm, fleshy matter they can clench in their rotting limbs. But what if they were real? What would happen if, tomorrow, corpses across the nation began springing up out of their graves and terrorizing the living? Employing hard science and solid police work--not to mention jaw-dropping (literally!) humor--Zombie CSU is the only guide you need to make it through alive--not undead. At last you can: • Investigate zombie crime scenes, collecting and analyzing evidence of zombie attacks, and create a "murder book." • Examine the psychology of the zombie and develop a perp profile. • Observe medical science pros as they probe felled zombies for forensic clues. • Devise a zombie apocalypse survival scorecard and more! Complete with lists of must-see zombie flicks from around the globe and tons of tips for kicking undead butt, Zombie CSU features hundreds of interviews with real zombie experts, forensics experts, detectives, filmmakers, and more. Special guest stars: Tony Todd, Brian Keene, Patricia Tallman, David Wellington, James Gunn, Robert Kirkman, Dr. Wade Davis, Robert Sacchetto, Zombie Squad, Ramsey Campbell, Kim Paffenroth, Jamie Russell, Michael "CJ" Kelly, Bruce "Andy" Bohne, and dozens more! "Fascinating! An indispensable tool for anyone contemplating tackling a festering corpse onslaught." -- Fearzone.com "Candid, eye-opening, cutting-edge, startling . . . the existence of zombies may not be so far-fetched after all." --Rue Morgue

From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

October 25th, 1978. John Carpenter's Halloween is unleashed upon an unsuspecting public and, in no time, becomes a horror movie phenomenon. Made for only $320,000.00, the expertly crafted and terrifying film would eventually gross $70 million worldwide, and would not only create a solid formula that has been imitated endlessly since 1978, but would also spawn no less than nine sequels with a tenth due out this October. In his book Halloween: The Changing Shape of an Iconic Series, author Ernie Magnotta meticulously details exactly what made this entertaining and terrifying film the enduring classic that it is today. He then goes on to discuss how the sequels strayed further and further away from writer/director/composer John Carpenter's original vision until they became something almost entirely different.The author goes into detail about all aspects of the series including story, characters, acting, suspense/scares, cinematography, direction/composition, music, Michael Myers' ever-changing mask and much, much more!Packed with loads of information as well as almost 200 full-color photos, Halloween: The Changing Shape of an Iconic Series is a must have for fans of the classic franchise."A totally great read!" -P.J. Soles ("Lynda" 1978's Halloween) "Ernie definitely knows the Halloween series. This October 31st, I'll let him live." -Dick Warlock ("Michael Myers" 1981's Halloween II)"Ernie Magnotta has meticulously detailed the nuances of the Halloween franchise characters...I found his observations of Rachel Carruthers and Jamie Lloyd in H4 and H5 to be spot on." -Ellie Cornell ("Rachel Carruthers" Halloween 4 and 5)

Kyle and Annie want to celebrate Thanksgiving like the pilgrims. They want to wear stovepipe hats, bake their own pies--even raise their own turkey. Then they meet Frankenturkey! Frankenturkey is big, bad, and mad. If Kyle and Annie don't watch out, Frankenturkey will eat them for Thanksgiving dinner.

Lizzy Caldwell is so excited when she’s asked to join the Camp Fear Girls. It sounds like such a cool club. Even though the clubhouse is on Fear Street—the spookiest street around. Even though the troop badges show coffins and hangman’s nooses. Even though the Camp Fear Girls are mysteriously vanishing…