Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired. Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better? Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said “That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream.”

Painfully awkward. Hilariously honest. Best of all, it happened to someone else. It’s a fact of life: No matter how lame, embarrassing, or downright crappy your day has been, someone else, somewhere on earth, has had it worse. F My Life World Tour collects the best of life’s most horrible moments, shared by people around the globe on the phenomenally popular FMyLife.com, which now gets more than 2 million hits per day, from Italy to Indonesia and Pakistan to Peru. If you’ve ever said “F my life,” get ready to feel a little better—at someone else’s expense. Includes never-before-seen entries submitted to FMyLife.com

In life, the choices we make determine our levels of success or regret. Ultra successful people (the superrich) rarely take a look back at the lessons of the past. ­That privilege is often reserved for the regretful, and whether we show it or not, many of us have our secret regrets. What if you realized that you were a regretful success? But that doesn’t make sense, does it? Who would regret their success? Who would want to struggle? What if those struggles were needed to help in revealing your character and what you thought of as weaknesses turned out to be your greatest strengths? How would you function knowing you had to struggle to get to where you wanted to go? Would you do it? Could you do it? ­ There are so many questions, and over time I’ve realized that asking questions will not only get you answers but will also lead to more questions. If you don’t know when to stop asking questions, then the answers cease to be of use, and when the answers aren’t useful, you stop asking questions and so on and so forth. But how can you fix a system if you’re not a part of it? According to developmental psychology, there are certain keystone events that should happen over the average lifetime. What happens when that order changes? Does that mean that the rules don’t apply? That doesn’t sound like a normal train of thought, does it? But what is normal anyway? I’ve never been normal or average. I’m a mystery, a conundrum, a 1,000-piece puzzle with a single piece missing. ­The missing piece used to change every day, but over time, it became clear that my missing piece was indeed a “missing peace” and that I would need the God’s help and plenty of heart to ‑ fight my way through numerous battles, facing more than my fair share of adversities. After God sat me down to talk over something, I told him, “­Thank you.” But then I also said, “­That’s f**ked up, God.”

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Answering the Existential Question of What the F*@# to Do with Your Life with Spot-On Humor (and Profanity) If you've tried and failed to find your purpose in life, you're going to need expert help. From the author of What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner?, this laugh-out-loud career guide will set you straight. Take a brief career quiz to find your perfect match, and get the inside scoop on a wide variety of crappy careers, plus tips on breaking in, leaving you with no excuse not to embark on a fulfilling vocation as: Electrician Therapist T-Shirt Cannon Operator Dental Hygienist Mortician Lobbyist . . . And more. And don't worry: if that perfect career eludes or you fail at everything else, you can always be a realtor.

The "genius" national bestseller on the art of caring less and getting more -- from the author of Calm the F*ck Down and F*ck No (Cosmopolitan). Are you stressed out, overbooked, and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? It's time to stop giving a f*ck. This brilliant, hilarious, and practical parody of Marie Kondo's bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt -- and give your f*cks instead to people and things that make you happy. The easy-to-use, two-step NotSorry Method for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f*ck about: Family drama Having a "bikini body" Iceland Co-workers' opinions, pets, and children And other bullsh*t! And it will free you to spend your time, energy, and money on the things that really matter. So what are you waiting for? Stop giving a f*ck and start living your best life today! Discover more of the magic of not giving a f*ck with The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck Journal.