As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia’s sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia. In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as: The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied. The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan’s paint with rocks. The funeral she officiated for “Stripper Barbie.” The horror of glitter. And much more! Shirtliffe eventually realizes that even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins’ therapy fund. And possibly her own. Shirtliffe’s memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

The authors of Snaps offer a humorous collection of the best and worst one-line gambits used by men on women, organized into such categories as Bar Lines, Celebrity Lines, and Politically Correct Lines. Original.

Written by parents for parents! We humans are pretty clever. We’ve mastered fire, invented the wheel, calculated the age of the Universe, sent people to the Moon, built machines that think, and cracked the genome. So you’d think that with all our smarts, somebody would’ve come up with a surefire formula for raising kids. Maybe that’s because every child, like every parent, is an individual, and no two parent-child relationships are ever the same. So, you can give up any notions of being a perfect parent. But, you can learn to keep the big mistakes to a minimum and make the parenting enterprise easier and more rewarding for your children and you. Which is where this book comes in. Whether you’re child is a newborn, a teen, or somewhere in-between, Parenting For Dummies gives you the scoop on parenting basics. From dealing with a crying baby and potty training, to building self-esteem and talking with them about sex, it offers a gold mine of up-to-date advice and guidance on how to: Learn to communicate with your kids Develop a good relationship with your kids Keep your kids safe and healthy Help your kids grow up to be good people Keep your cool and control their behavior Discipline constructively and with a minimum of stress Build self-esteem in your children Avoid committing the parenting sins your parents taught you Experts Sandy and Dan Gookin—she’s the parenting expert for Parents Magazine and Working Mother Magazine and he’s a father of four—avoid the psychological hype and medical terminology and give you the straight poop on all aspects of child-rearing, including: Speaking and listening to kids The importance of being consistent Keeping a sense of humor Dealing with babies Childhood growth and development Health and nutrition Kids’ changing physical needs Developing a good person Parenting For Dummies gives you the know-how and skills you need to be the parent of healthy, happy kids.

Philip Mizzou thinks that life as a Fly By Night moving man is an ideal way to see sights and to meet people in beautiful San Francisco. But when Fly By Night goes belly up, he and fellow Easy Mover Big John Yelverton strike out on their own in a partnership that leads to strange hallucinations and world-renown counterfeiters. Meet exotic dancer Pandora Boxxe, her jaded beau Knuckles the bouncer, plus E. X. Queasy; the man with huge appetite and mysterious past. Laugh-a-minute adventures guide you up and down the rolling hills of northern California, then through majestic Yosemite Valley, while two Easy Movers traverse roads of international intrigue and undercover law enforcement--but watch out for steep inclines and close encounters with the legendary Bigfoot!

The foundations of health and wellbeing are laid down in pregnancy and the early years. Health for all Children takes a life course approach to child health, starting in pregnancy and extending to the age of seven to include transition into school, and to cover the foundation years in education. This new edition summarizes the evidence supporting preventive health care and health promotion; providing an effective, community-based response to the needs of families and children. Each chapter summarizes evidence of effectiveness in the topic area, in health promotion, and in universal and selective interventions. The fifth edition starts in pregnancy and runs until age seven taking into account Government policies and different models of delivery of the child health programme. Evidence from all over the world is critically appraised and referenced to UK policy and practice. Health for all Children summarizes the evidence about 'why' and 'what works' in health promotion and health surveillance with children and families, providing guidance on how to implement and quality assure a programme, and the competencies needed. Each chapter includes 'learning links' to online training materials and e-learning for health, or to resources freely available to practitioners. This established, evidence-based book continues to be essential reading for all health professionals who work with children. It will also provide vital background knowledge for those charged with the responsibility of planning, commissioning, and monitoring child health.