In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt — or in this case, the dirty water — on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes readers down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving readers gasping with laughter as they’re assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it’s not “passengers”). And of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange, and seemingly impossible, places. Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential reading for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.

Returning with his award-winning wit and delightfully candid narrative voice, Brian brings us the first and only expose of art auctioneering on the mighty liners, where the tenet of 'what happens at sea, stays at sea' has always been observed-until now. Ship for Brains takes on cruise ship art auctioneers, a society brimming with odd personalities drawn to the stress and isolation that invariably lead to alcohol and a Hell-may-care attitude. According to Bruns, "They willingly give up home and family in favor of high-paced, crushing sales goals demanded while port-hopping from nation to nation; art auctioneers are undermined by the lash of tyrannical ship officers, unforgiving gallery managers, hyena-like trainers, and a skeptical public. The burn-out rate is phenomenal-but when it works, you are king of the world." Brian's true-life struggle turns both harrowing and hilarious when goaded by the lecherous but mighty auctioneer Bill Shatner, and he must navigate sexy dancers and their all-to-intimate cliques, the slapstick schemes of his mentors, and the seduction of success, all while staying true to his girl and himself. We are transported from the Caribbean to the Pacific and Costa Rica to Transylvania as our likable guide vividly describes his many misadventures, triumphs, flirtations, and, above all, his amusing and astute insights into human nature. Ship for Brains-this ain't no galley tour.

If you want a holiday that's hassle-free, virtually pre-paid, and that lets you see lots of places while only needing to pack and unpack once, then you should try a cruise. This best-selling book is the cruise industry bible: it gives you all the information you need to choose the right cruise for you. Meticulously updated every year by cruise expert Douglas Ward, it is divided into two main parts: the first helps you work out what you're looking for in a cruise holiday and how to find it; the lively text and colour photographs describe every aspect of life on board, including safety, the highs and lows of the cruise experience and how to save money. The second part contains unbiased reviews and fascinating detail of almost 300 ocean-going cruise vessels, and grades them on service, food, entertainment and facilities, using an internationally recognised ratings system.

A shocking exposé of modern piracy - the Fast Food Nation of the cruise industry

The 1950s ocean liner Queen Isabella is making her final voyage—a retro cruise from Long Beach to Hawaii and back—before heading to the scrapyard. For the guests on board, it’s a chance to experience a bygone era of decadent luxury, complete with fine dining, classic highballs, string quartets, and sophisticated jazz. Smoking is allowed but not cell phones—or children, for that matter. But this is the second decade of an uncertain new millennium, not the sunny, heedless mid-twentieth century, and certain disquieting signs of strife and malfunction above and below deck intrude on the festivities, throwing a trio of strangers together in an unexpected and startling test of character.

Set sail and dive into Europe's magnificent port cities with Rick Steves Mediterranean Cruise Ports! Inside you'll find: Rick's expert advice on making the most of your time on a cruise and fully experiencing each city, with thorough coverage of 23 ports of call Practical travel strategies including how to choose and book your cruise, adjust to life on board on the ship, and save money Self-guided walks and tours of each port city so you can hit the best sights, sample authentic cuisine, and get to know the culture, even with a short amount of time Essential logistics including step-by-step instructions for arriving at each terminal, getting into town, and finding necessary services like ATMs and pharmacies Rick's reliable tips and candid advice on how to beat the crowds, skip lines, and avoid tourist traps Helpful reference photos throughout and full-color maps of each city Useful tools like mini-phrasebooks, detailed instructions for any visa requirements, hotel and airport recommendations for cruise access cities, and what to do if you miss your ship Full list of coverage: Provence, Marseille, Toulon and the Port of La Seyne-sur-Mer, Cassis, Aix-en-Provence, Nice, Villefrance-sur-Mer, Cap Ferrat, Monaco, Cannes, Antibes, Florence, Pisa, Lucca, the Port of Livorno, Rome, the Port of Civitaveccia, Naples, Sorrento, Capri, Pompeii, Herculaneum, the Amalfi Coast, Venice, Split, Dubrovnik, Athens, the Port of Piraeus, Mykonos, Santorini, Corfu, Olympia and the Port of Katakolo, Crete and the Port of Heraklion, Rhodes, Istanbul, Ephesus, and The Port of Kusadasi Maximize your time and savor every moment in port with Rick's practical tips, thoughtful advice, and reliable expertise. Heading north? Pick up Rick Steves Scandinavian & Northern European Cruise Ports.

In this guide, Rick Steves focuses on some of the grandest sights in Northern Europe. As always, he has a plan to help you have a meaningful cultural experience while you’re there—even with just a few hours in port. Inside you'll find one-day itineraries for sightseeing at or near the major Northern Europe ports of call, including: Southampton and Dover (London) Le Havre (Paris and Normandy) Zeebrugge (Bruges and Brussels) Amsterdam Oslo Copenhagen Warnemünde/Rostock (Berlin) Stockholm Helsinki Tallinn St. Petersburg Rick Steves' Northern Europe Cruise Ports explains how to get into town from the cruise terminal, shares sightseeing tips, and includes self-guided walks and tours. You'll learn which destinations are best for an excursion—and which you can confidently visit on your own. You'll also get tips on booking a cruise, plus hints for saving time and money on the ship and in port. You can count on Rick Steves to tell you what you really need to know when cruising through Northern Europe.