From the author of The Portable Curmudgeon comes 1,000 irreverent quotations, anecdotes, and interviews on romance, sex, and love's myriad delusions.

More than 1,000 outrageously irreverent quotations, anecdotes, and interviews on a vast array of subjects, from an illustrious list of world class grouches. “If you can’t say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.”—Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Curmudgeons have for ages spiked life and literature with barbs and arrows, which are never so sharp as when shot from a woman's sling. From Shakespeare's Shrew to television's Maude, they've added pepper to the often bland stew of human conversation. Organized into 50 broad categories, The Curmudgeon Woman is a collection of 500 quotations from more than 300 razor-witted females. Covering a period from the 1600s to the present, they share their needle-sharp points of view on such engaging topics as aging, happiness, sex, marriage, inequality, fashion, life, and death. Not just funny, not just nasty, The Curmudgeon Woman combines sharp wit with deep truths. With contributions ranging from Minna Antrim (Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.) to Natalie Wood (The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.), The Curmudgeon Woman displays a wry sense of humor and more wisdom than ought to be allowed.

A set-in-his-ways hedgehog gets a new worldview—and a new friend along the way in this eBook with audio. C.R. Mudgeon, a sensible hedgehog, likes knowing just what to expect. Always. No surprises, no excitement. So when a noisy new neighbor, Paprika the squirrel, arrives, C.R. Mudgeon is even less cheerful than normal. The sights! The sounds! The peppery, fiery smells! Everything about Paprika is just too much to handle, and C.R. is aching, sneezing, and seeing spots. But everyone needs quiet sometimes, and when that time comes, C.R. Mudgeon will have just the thing for a new friend in need. And as for himself, he may even discover that a little spice is just what the doctor ordered! Nuanced, joyful humor permeates the pages of this heartwarming eBook with audio that will make even the littlest, grumpiest curmudgeons want to jump up and dance!

When turning the other cheek just won't do, try fighting back with the cantankerous remarks of some of the crustiest, grouchiest, and cleverest curmudgeons of all time. Profiles of three world-class wordsmiths--Alexander Woollcott, Oscar Wilde, and Robert Benchley--plus interviews with a variety of caustic commentators make this a collection of barbed remarks second to none.

For those starting out in their careers—and those who wish to advance more quickly—this is a delightfully fussy guide to the hidden rules of the road in the workplace and in life. As bestselling author and social historian Charles Murray explains, at senior levels of an organization there are curmudgeons everywhere, judging your every move. Yet it is their good opinion you need to win if you hope to get ahead. Among the curmudgeon’s day-to-day tips for the workplace: • Excise the word “like” from your spoken English • Don’t suck up • Stop “reaching out” and “sharing” • Rid yourself of piercings, tattoos, and weird hair colors • Make strong language count His larger career advice includes: • What to do if you have a bad boss • Coming to grips with the difference between being nice and being good • How to write when you don’t know what to say • Being judgmental (it’s good, and you don’t have a choice anyway) And on the great topics of life, the curmudgeon urges us to leave home no matter what, get real jobs (not internships), put ourselves in scary situations, and watch Groundhog Day repeatedly (he’ll explain). Witty, wise, and pulling no punches, The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Getting Ahead is an indispensable sourcebook for living an adult life.