Can't Be Arsed: Half Arsed Shorter Edition

Can't Be Arsed: Half Arsed Shorter Edition
Title Can't Be Arsed: Half Arsed Shorter Edition PDF eBook
Author Richard Wilson
Publisher Portico
Pages 194
Release 2013-01-22
Genre Humor
ISBN 1909396117

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‘A terrific blow for freedom. Richly comic’ Boris Johnson. 'Properly funny. I've put it in a seldom-used toilet.' Jeremy Clarkson We are forever being ordered around – 100 things to do before you're 30; 50 albums you must own; change your life in two weeks. Why – is this an increasingly desperate search for happiness? Perhaps you can in fact attain happiness not by going anywhere or doing anything but instead by actually reducing your ambitions. This is the philosophy behind '63 Things Not To Do Before You Die'. Each chapter begins with a diatribe, followed by a detailed look at the alternative side of the most frequently cited must do's, giving off-putting facts and statistics to quote at holier-than-thou thrillseekers. Wish-fulfillment lists take heed...

Can't Be Arsed

Can't Be Arsed
Title Can't Be Arsed PDF eBook
Author Richard Wilson
Publisher Portico
Pages 176
Release 2010-09-06
Genre Humor
ISBN 9781907554025

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‘A terrific blow for freedom. Richly comic’ Boris Johnson. 'Properly funny. I've put it in a seldom-used toilet.' Jeremy Clarkson We are forever being ordered around – 100 things to do before you're 30; 50 albums you must own; change your life in two weeks. Why – is this an increasingly desperate search for happiness? Perhaps you can in fact attain happiness not by going anywhere or doing anything but instead by actually reducing your ambitions. This is the philosophy behind '63 Things Not To Do Before You Die'. Each chapter begins with a diatribe, followed by a detailed look at the alternative side of the most frequently cited must do's, giving off-putting facts and statistics to quote at holier-than-thou thrillseekers. Wish-fulfillment lists take heed...

Half-Assed

Half-Assed
Title Half-Assed PDF eBook
Author Jennette Fulda
Publisher Seal Press
Pages 258
Release 2008-04-29
Genre Biography & Autobiography
ISBN 1580052339

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After undergoing gall bladder surgery at age twenty-three, Jennette Fulda decided it was time to lose some weight. Actually, more like half her weight. At the time, Jennette weighed 372 pounds. Jennette was not born fat. But, by fifth grade, her response to a school questionnaire asking “what would you change about your appearance” was “I would be thinner.” Sound familiar? Half-Assed is the captivating and incredibly honest story of Jennette’s journey to get in shape, lose weight, and change her life. From the beginning—dusting off her never-used treadmill and steering clear of the donut shop—to the end with her goal weight in sight, Jennette wows readers with her determined persistence to shed pounds and the ability to maintain her ever-present sense of self.

Oxford Dictionary of Modern Slang

Oxford Dictionary of Modern Slang
Title Oxford Dictionary of Modern Slang PDF eBook
Author John Ayto
Publisher Oxford University Press, USA
Pages 424
Release 2010-02-11
Genre Language Arts & Disciplines
ISBN 0199232059

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Offering coverage of over 6,000 slang words and expressions from the Cockney 'abaht' to the American term 'zowie', this is the most authoritative dictionary of slang from the 20th and 21st centuries.

Half-Assed Marines

Half-Assed Marines
Title Half-Assed Marines PDF eBook
Author Seamon Glass
Publisher iUniverse
Pages 366
Release 2010-07
Genre Fiction
ISBN 1450235638

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Half-Assed Marines by novelist Seamon Glass follows World War II, teen-Marine Sherman Glossman as he tries to play his patriotic duty to fight fascism and battle against the Japanese Empire's incursions into the Pacific theatre. Anxious to see action, Sherman and his unit of like-minded, young warriors find that getting into the war is harder than they thought as they face trials, tribulations, unwarlike adventures, and their share of romance everywhere but on the battlefield. Moving from island to island, and adventure to adventure, Sherman and his cohorts come of age during one of the pivotal wars of the millennium, and despite their frustration at not being on the front lines, they are all changed forever being part of this unlikely band of brothers. Written in masterful and engrossing prose, author Glass captures the zeitgeist of an era, and has written a coming-of-age, war epic that ranks with the best in the genre. Filled with rich settings, multi-dimensional characters, and action-packed subplots, Half-Assed Marines will be sure to please military fiction buffs and anyone who just loves a great story well told.

Evil Arse Soup: Three Ultra-Dark Comedies

Evil Arse Soup: Three Ultra-Dark Comedies
Title Evil Arse Soup: Three Ultra-Dark Comedies PDF eBook
Author Dave Franklin
Publisher Baby Ice Dog Press
Pages 529
Release 2013-12-13
Genre Fiction
ISBN

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Welcome. Come amuse yourself in the company of slime-dripping vagina jaws, Aboriginal ABBA tribute bands and Deliverance-quoting parrots. This trio of politically incorrect comedies, which bleakly focus on male inadequacy and misogyny, will introduce you to a bunch of chronic misfits kicking around Wales, Australia and South Korea. But be warned - you may grow to like some of them. Just make sure you don't leave this little encyclopaedia of dysfunction on your maiden aunt's chair... Book 1: Looking For Sarah Jane Smith Marty's living in a Welsh town he hates, doing a job he's lost interest in and so bored he can't even be bothered with sex. But a new life beckons in Australia. It's also a chance to get away from his stupid mates, the loveable loser John and the ultra-macho Wasp Boy. Maybe he'll even meet an exquisite girl like his Doctor Who heroine, Sarah Jane Smith, and live happily ever after... Looking for Sarah Jane Smith - For anyone who suspects life's a bit rubbish. Part road trip and part celebration of idiotic male friendship, Looking for Sarah Jane Smith is sure to strike a chord with those who appreciate The Inbetweeners, Peep Show and Bill Hicks. Book 2: Manic Streets of Perth Perth. It's thousands of miles from anywhere, it's got a rubbish Bell Tower and not enough of the laidback locals are being eaten by sharks. Well, that's what expat reporter Paul Lewis thinks, but after a lonely Manic Street Preachers fan reveals her disastrously unlucky life suddenly nothing's the same... Manic Streets of Perth - Where a snake-wielding robber is just the start of your troubles. Gentler and warmer than Dave Franklin's other novels, Manic Streets of Perth is an easy to read comedy. Book 3: English Toss on Planet Andong Every year thousands of people travel to faraway lands to teach English as a foreign language. The fools. One such expat is Paul Taylor, a heartbroken Aussie looking for a fresh start in a South Korean classroom. The lack of training isn't much of a help, but it's the baffling natives and unhinged flatmates that really start to convince him he's crash-landed in another galaxy... Packed with over the top characters, English Toss is a demented sitcom of a novel that revels in the extremes of expat dislocation. Total length: 240,000 words.

Life's Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets

Life's Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets
Title Life's Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets PDF eBook
Author Lisa Quinn
Publisher Chronicle Books
Pages 170
Release 2011-02-25
Genre Humor
ISBN 0811879887

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In the tradition of Erma Bombeck and Peg Bracken, author Lisa Quinn—Emmy Award-winning television host and recovering Marthaholic—gets real on the follies of housekeeping. Life's Too Short to Fold Fitted Sheets is a crash course in Slacker Chic 101 that will have over-extended women everywhere laughing out loud and throwing in the towel—the dish towel, that is. Full of shortcuts and tricks for cleaning, decor, and entertaining,such as: the top 10 things you have to clean if you have company coming in 30 minutes; interior finishes that hide the most dirt; 17 meals made from a deli chicken; and much more, this wickedly funny guide helps women create the life they want without all the hard labor—and without compromising style.